Unfortunately your H is acting like the 'typical' MLCer. NC is very wise of you for now. It gives your H time to travel through his tunnel without taking time out to think about how to deal with the problems he created when he left you.
You flying under the radar takes the pressure off him and hopefully he stops being so gung ho in getting the divorce.
Any pressure he gets will be from ow trying to push it forward and if he's like most people he will come to resent her nagging and pushing. True colors will be revealed on both their parts.
Don't give them any reasons to bond and aim the point of the triangle at you. Let RL set in for them and then they'll aim at each other. In time it's a possibility that your H sees you as the better option and then the ball will be in your court.
You're going to have those down days. I still get them where I miss my H like crazy. I just find something else to do and find it's not as intense or lasts as long anymore.
