Now, all I see is hate toward me...for WHAT?! WHY does HE hate ME?!
I'd like to expand on this from Eric's post.
This is projection in part from your H, RLay. He hates himself. He sees in you a reminder of what he is, what he does, and of the demons inside himself that he doesn't understand and can't control.
He blames you for 'making him do it'. He is sick and until he's willing to face his own crap and get help, he will not get better.
You may not realize it yet RLay, but God is intervening here. You have been given a chance to look at this situation for what it is.
This time when your H is gone is truly a gift if you use it to face and process the reasons you let this happen to yourself. Use this time for YOU. Go through your journey and figure out what you have to do to stand up and protect yourself.
Love yourself enough to do this RLay, and realize that no human being has the right to lay a hand in anger on you ever again.
Find yourself worth again. Do it for you and your children.
Lots of HUGS Sweetie. You're not alone. There are folks on this board that understand what you've endured. They've been through it and come out the other side, whole.
