My title is the title of the audiobook I am enjoying. Just today it was talking about things needed for regret-free relationships. One of the top things was honesty. The author said, "One thing to know about liars. Liars lie."
Sounds obvious, right? He went on to say that liars start out with small lies and then go on to bigger lies. Eventually they tell so many lies to so many people about so many things that they may convince themselves that the truth is actually relative. And we must remember that we cannot ever truly believe that a liar is telling the truth, about anything. Sad, but true.
Anyway the timing could not be better. Kids got home w/Dan today from their mini vacation. Nathan was talking about him and Dan going on a waterslide together. I asked where Sydney was.....
Nathan replied...
"Oh. Dad's friend Stephanie was there. She watched Sydney while we did the waterslide."
He said she had brown hair and dark tan skin. YEP, it was THE Stephanie. Nice going, Dan....so glad that when I asked months ago if you were seeing her, you said no. That when you ended it in Sept. of last year, it was done. And then I asked in Feb if you were seeing anyone, you said no. I said I would just like the courtesy of knowing before you introduced anyone to the kids. You assured me you would never do that without telling me first, but that you weren't seeing anyone yet and didn't know when that would be...
And in April when I said something about one day having a man do things with me and the kids, you said "I don't WANT someone to help me parent the kids." (Meaning you would date just for companionship not an extra parent.) REALLY? Then why was she watching our child while you were with Nathan?
Then I remembered.....Liars Lie.
(Oh, and we leave in the am for chicago. I will purge this from my mind while we are on vacay so his BS doesn't ruin OUR good time.)
Thanks for stopping by GG. I highly recommend the book. It has tons of good information. I am doing the audiobook, about 4 hours in to a 6 hour deal...
So I did send a couple texts to Dan re. ow meeting them. Just letting him know I did not appreciate his doing that without telling me since we agreed to notify each other before doing that kind of thing. And saying I was disappointed that he chose to lie to me for months saying they were over. (I mean, if we aren't together anymore why lie? He can date whomever he wants.)
His only reply? "So did Nathan actually say her name was 'Stephanie'?"
Seriously? Dude, just be real. But he can't cause he is a liar.
Anyway gearing up for the trip, just getting ready for bed. Nathan came out crying earlier and said he had something to tell me but I would 'hate' him if he told me. I hugged him, he bawled and then confessed that he thought a girl at daycare was cute!
I told him of course I didn't hate him (what a weird idea!) that it was perfectly fine to think a girl was cute. I told him we just don't date until we are older, in high school. But he can still think she's cute! He said he thought I would be mad... ?? So we hugged it out and he went to bed. I love it that he comes to me with things that he considers quite serious and personal. I am working to build a loving trusting relationship with him now so he will feel free to be open with me as he grows up.
Oh and re. Dan, I will take some action on this ow thing. No, legally I don't have means to prohibit them from spending time together. But between the lying, my knowledge of the naked pics on the camera, and a few other things I can make it pretty uncomfortable for him.
And I know you guys may disagree, but having ow around my kids = I tell the kids he cheated on me with her. If it were someone else I may not love it, but he has the right to date, he is single now. The fact that it is her, the one person I told him I would have a problem with, and the fact that he lied to me that they were done (for the millionth time) is just too much for me. I cannot sit across from her at some group event and be nice. I just can't. Sorry if that makes me weak. I could grin and bear it with some new woman, but not her. And in fairness I think the kids need to know that about her before they cozy up to her. If they still decide she is awesome, then I can't change that. But they can make an informed decision.
And my best brother from these boards was there for me tonight, thank goodness. He said I should be laughing because she has latched herself onto a liar and a cheater who will screw her over in time if he hasn't already--and he probably has. He says I should be happy that they are each stuck with a loser and I am free....I will try to remember that.
Wow, he so knows he is screwed and that he messed up big time. True to form that means lash out at BBJ and try to convince yourself that she is the one with problems...
Just got a couple texts. (for background, he had said he was dropping off some books for nathan that he took to his dads but wants to read on the plane)
1: Books are in the mailbox...didn't want to leave them in the "first new car I've ever bought" per facebook
2: Sorry to hear you've been driving a POS and living at the shelter the last 11 years
Oh how hilarious! Not really, but kinda. He doesn't even have a facebook profile! So not sure how he got that info except he did text awhile back that his buddy Doug (cattle guy) told him I was getting a new car--I had posted it on FB and Doug is one of my friends.
Well if he saw that on fb he probably saw I was getting flowers from a secret admirer (no need to know he was a creeper!)
What is there to say? According to gucci, always agree. Guess I could have replied, "Thank so much for your sympathy! You are right it was a hard 11 years but everything is better now."
But instead, I am going to bed. Don't feel like arguing with idiots tonight...
I thought I posted to you but either I posted to someone else's thread or it...vanished.
Bbj, listen to your bro. He ALWAYS knows what he is talking about.
Dan is showing you what he is made of. Stop arguing with him inside and accept your xH is a liar and a jerk. Then smile you no longer have to be with him. K
Running off to work right now, Just wanted to say Hi,and that I know how hard it is dealing with these constant liars, Now that my Husband has left I look back and see how much I ignored it and see now I can not trust anything he says anymore. He is gone and is still lying about the littlest stupid stuff, I dont know why he feels the need to keep lying about such little stuff, all it does is reinforce to me how much I can not trust anything he says.
Shelby
Me:43 H:43 T:20 YRS M:15 YRS Bomb: 6/9/08 Bomb#2 7/6/10 Served with papers at work 7/13/10 DD:14, DD:11
I highly recommend the book. It has tons of good information. I am doing the audiobook, about 4 hours in to a 6 hour deal...
