I know I don't always make sense and I know I'm not alone in how I feel about thing..but it seems most often that I have more in common with the waw then I do with the lbs? so go figure. yep this could be me, my first reaction when H dropped bomb was "oh so you beat me to it"
I do love my h, though I no longer know what kind of love it is...would I be devistated as a w should if something were to happen to him? did I have that same question in my mind before all this? maybe part of me was already headed that way while other parts of me fought it off...now the fight has somewhat been taken out of me. I too catch myself wondering this - even as far as totting up what the life insurance would be. I think sometimes we all do this, like it would be a simpler way out. Of course it wouldn't and we would be devastated probably more than we know right now. Suddenly the crap would disappear and we would remember the good guy we fell in love with. Living together is tough, raising kids is tough, the crap piles on top of us and we can't see clearly to the care-free loved one that used to focus straight on us.
Quote: All I can say about that is that it’s something I’ve considered myself. As depressing as it sounds, I know from my own musings and from emails from a DB friend that parallel living may be the best available alternative. The problem with deciding that you can’t bear the pain any longer is that splitting doesn’t make the pain go away. In certain respects it’s worse. Financial considerations, and child rearing are two examples.
I have very often thought about parallel living, under separate roofs. I don't mean separated like we were but somehow (if we had the finances) going back to being bf/gf with each other again by not living together. Not having to deal with each others ugly moods, days when we don't feel like much company, blah blah. Just save the nice stuff for each other, and come to some sort of amicable arrangement about childcare etc. I even raised this with H a couple of times, way before the bomb, but he thought it was a coded way of saying I wanted out. It's just annoying and frustrating being under the same roof with someone who isn't "there".
take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
