"Before you can know grace and love you have to experience its absence. You have to experience its opposite so you will recognize what it is not."
Truegritter, these words are very poignant and definitely struck a chord with me. For a good two months now I've felt a growing sense of empathy towards my wife that seems to grow stronger each day. It's a very raw emotion, and totally counter-intuitive to what my mind tells me I should be feeling towards her/the situation (i.e. anger, frustration, etc...) I've especially felt this way since she and our daughter returned from China. It's a strange thing to process emotionally [and in the brain].
Today is a good example. My wife spent a few hours at home today and we had dinner together as a family. While she was here I could see/sense a very conscious effort on her part to engage me in on an intimate level. There was one point where we were standing in the kitchen, and I was showing her this small pot with African violet flowers I bought for her yesterday. So, she's looking at the flowers, making comments about caring for them, taking them back to her apartment, and so forth. While she was talking she had this look on her face that I can only describe as lost and helpless. I felt this pit in my stomach and just started crying and couldn't understand why [in that moment anyways]. Afterwards, the feeling I had is kind of like, I felt I had cried for her because she is not able to cry for herself. I don't know how else to describe what I felt.
Anyhow, I'm rambling. I can't quite make sense of why this has been happening lately, other than what I tried to describe above. I guess I just wanted to get the thoughts out here.
