When you start to feel helpless, stop and think about your actions. You can't control your feelings, but you can control what you do.
Quit worrying about how you got here. It's not productive. Think about where you want to be in a year. Do you want to be stewing in bitterness and regret?
Whenever you beg and grovel, think of a dog. Would your wife fall in love with a dog? Be a man. Take it like a man. When she sees you acting like a man, then you might have a chance.
