Well, I would never advise ANYONE tip their hand legally, but there's nothing wrong with a courtesy "heads up" if she's about to get served, for instance. So on the legal front, I think you tell her AFTER it's too late for her to respond legally, but before she is served by a deputy or other officer, if you want to give her that courtesy.
As for the "conditions" whereby she can move back into the house, I don't think you can really tell her that unless she's ASKING to come back to the house ... do you?
I think you have to wait for the "I have decided that" speech, for it to come up IN CONTEXT. We've discussed this at length on some other threads, including Gucci's "Setting Them Free" one, and the point was made that you can't really PRONOUNCE that "I'm letting you go," out of the blue, because the very pronouncement itself seems to be that you're not, kwim??
Think of Chevy Chase, in that scene from Caddyshack:
Ty: "You're not being the ball, Danny."
Danny: "Well, it's difficult to do, with you talking all the time!"
Ty: "Ok, I'm not talking now . . . I'm not talking. Just be the ball, Danny . . ."
