Baby Boy is two weeks old today!!!!!!! Such an amazing little guy... love him soooo much!
H has been staying here and helping me out so very much. I have had so many visitors and gifts and help around the clock! I am so grateful. Baby is happy and sleeping and eating and all is going great, thank God!
It has been a little strange to say the least with H living under the same roof, and yet so nice and comforting. We basically are living together but seperate... I like having him here to help out, I am breast feeding and H changes the diapers and wakes up during the night for every feeding. We have dinner together, just the two of us, most nights, and he is being very attentive and caring and very H-like... without the lovey dovey affection of course... I find that I call him 'babe' and i cringe... the word just comes out of my mouth! Actually, he said it a few times too... he talks about us being a family, although i do notice he pulls back a lot too. i did bring up R talk once and it ended with me in tears, telling him to leave... then begging him to stay and to be a family with us... said he really wants to be there for the baby and me... and that he does think of 'us' but right now he is only focused on the baby. He is taking his boards in the next few weeks and has been studying a lot too. When he is not here, he is calling and texting and asking for pics of the baby. When he is here, its like we are 'together'. Some moments get so intimate that i feel flushed and nervous. Our families have been around us and things seem so normal sometimes.
I'm not sure what he is thinking, i do however know he is SO CONFUSED!!! It is obvious to everyone especially me!
Well, I am just loving my little boy sooooo much. We are getting ready to send out the birth announcements (with both of our names on it) and planning for his christening...
Who knows... I am taking one day at a time... i dont like to look back it makes me sad, and i dont want to feel sorry for myself, and dont want to look forward, too much unknown and i drive myself nuts...
So I am still floating... this time on cloud nine with my baby boy of course... and H very close by...
Welcome back, Babydoll! I couldn't even find your thread to post a miss you message. Glad to hear your baby boy is doing well!
Wow, looking back I am remembering how incredibly difficult it was. So stressful being in limbo! But I hope hope hope for you that it will result in a happy ending! 2 weeks of bonding together sounds good...get the oxytocin flowing!
So what strategies, if any, are you going to put into play?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
welcome back babydoll! we did miss u but of course those first few weeks are full on! good to hear you are getting help, and floating seems to be working for now. hope to hear more from you soon!
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
Going to write in bullets (legnthy ones)! Mama duties keeping me busy! -H said he wanted to go to MC w me several months ago, when he mentioned it, but I eventually said no. Ummm...really? I remember tht H mentioned it then backed doen and said no. Today he said he only meant that there were no guarantees. Uhh... Hello?! Now what?! -said he feels like if we work on 'us' right now, it only will have been bc of the baby! Nah ah! I said that's why I wanted to try MC months ago... Before the baby came in the mix! -his response is "not right now" I said it means NO I'm just buying myself some time! H said no it doesn't! I asked when? After your done studying for boards? December? Next July? When? He said he doesn't know... That he can't guarantee anything! Yeah well, neither can the next guy! I told him nothing is a guarantee -told H everyday I fall out of love w him a tiny bit more... -said to H I think of us and our past and our dreams and don't understand how he doesn't look on the great times we shared and want that! Said I don't understad how you don't think of it or see it! He said he does... -said I am able to take the baby out of the equation and see that WE were once great! -told H that I still want the same things for S that he and I always dreamt about and just bc H and I are not together doesn't mean I don't plan the same for S and said maybe I will find someone else to share my family and life w. H got tears in his eyes. -told H nicely that I didn't need him to stay. That I was okay to do this alone. He didn't give me a chance to finish and said I want to be here. Ok. I didn't question him. I know its only for the baby.
I don't know if anything I wrote makes sense! I stopped and started so many times! H just rocked S to sleep and wished us a good night...
told H that I still want the same things for S that he and I always dreamt about and just bc H and I are not together doesn't mean I don't plan the same for S and said maybe I will find someone else to share my family and life w. H got tears in his eyes.
BD, I finally started to think this I think in March when stbxh told me he did want to D. I realized that I could still do the things with S that I wanted to, just alone....and then one day share with someone else. I am pleased you are realizing this now. CHANCES ARE IT WILL BE WITH YOUR H! But being strong enough to see that you can be independent is good!
And you know something? Truthfully I am having fun with S doing the things I want. I do them sometimes with friends though so I am not lonely!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I realized that I could still do the things with S that I wanted to, just alone....and then one day share with someone else. I am pleased you are realizing this now.
not sure if i fully understand it, definiteley dont want this... but powerful words to say to WH... I know it makes him think... and it is a probability...
Quote:
CHANCES ARE IT WILL BE WITH YOUR H!
How i wish...
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Truthfully I am having fun with S doing the things I want. I do them sometimes with friends though so I am not lonely!
Fed the baby last night (breastfeeding going so well, i was expecting the worst and hoping for the best!), and after I fed him, H changed his diaper and I walked out of the room for a second, come back and find H laying in our bed, on his side, with baby in his arms, rocking him to bed, and the dog sitting by his feet... I almost melted...
guess he feels comfortable enough to be like this around us... We ate dinner together tonight and he went to study... Boards in two weeks, wonder what life will be like after that... and then he starts working... lots of changes... could be good or bad...
Either way, i have my son... who could ask for anything more!
Congratulations Babydoll! It looks like we had our babies around the same time give or take.
I've been following your sitch and it looks as if you and your dh have made great progress. At least you have help where as mine hasn't helped at all except for the first night I was discharged and even then he just slept while baby girl was crying. I'm so exhausted it's not even funny.
