So what I don't get is that Tupy's idea on protection phase is supposed to allow time to heal for me, and she also says that breaking the attachment bond almost always causes the other spouse to begin to want and look for it again.
When my wife goes away for work or to family, she NEVER calls, never texts, ot initiates ANY type of contact.
I mean I stay as far away from her as POSSIBLE, and she does the same.
I have been wondering if there is a "reverse divorce busting" process, where the WAS uses the same TYPES of techniques to move FURTHER away from the marriage. i.e. relying on family, getting a life, detaching, and initiating their own protection phase.
OR, she is just running and running from the pain, and will try ANYTHING to make it stop and end.
So am I to guess the process she is using isn't healthy, and doesn't involve hard introspection and self-discovery?
All I know is that she is moving out sometime this upcoming month. And she is REALLY excited about it from what I have gathered from my intel.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
When my wife goes away for work or to family, she NEVER calls, never texts, ot initiates ANY type of contact.
. . . yet.
You're still only about 6 weeks from your initial exposure. Patience.
QS
Puppy
QS we're 3.5 months into our separation and WH STILL never calls or texts unless he wants something - and I would say our separation isn't nearly as contentious as yours. Give it time...
In 3.5 months the divorce will most likely be final, or she is going to have some sort of serious relationship.
To her once she has her own place the divorce is final. But I just can't focus on that right now. I have to work at getting through today. She is on her way home (thank you GPS) and I have to prepare myself for her coming home to a house where her dog has just died.
Wait till she sees the memorial I made. That ought to be fun.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
QS... The memorial was for your dog... if you want my advice don't BE there when she arrives home...
If you ARE your eagerness to bust this divorce is going to suffocate her while she moves around the home until she sees the memorial and you are gonna drive her crazy...
Well I just saw a copy of the lease, and her move in date is in the middle of August.
But she will be away the last 3 weeks, so it is likely Labor Day weekend she moves out of the house. And it's a 1 year lease with a pretty big penalty for opting out of it.
Puppy, you are right my brain goes STRAIGHT for the negatives on all this. It seems like it WANTS to imagine all the horrible things that could be going on in her own apartment. It's almost like some part of me just wants to have it happen so it can be over with. Just like my dog at the end, I felt at peace when it was finally over and I had faced it FOR REAL and not in my head.
It's likely that once she moves out, I will never see her again except for the division of assets and final court appearance.
She went to A HUGE amount of trouble to conceal that she was looking for apartments and signed a lease. I mean as far as staying with relatives 40 miles away, and then backtracking to the apartment complex with her mom the next day.
I guess I can focus on the fact that she just signed a lease that IS AS MUCH as her half of the mortgage. So, if I decide to stay in the house, she still has to pay half the mortgage PLUS her rent where she is mooching off her parents.
Although her apartment complex is REALLY nice, I can stay right here and make her keep begging for money from her parents.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/25/1007:37 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
I thought I'd never see my STBXW again (and was feeling very dramatic when she moved out).
Seen her twice for mini-dates since then.
I will say this, though, the thought occured to me yesterday when she showed me her apartment that if we ever decided to live together again, the new furniture she bought would mean we would probably have to get rid of some stuff that is already here.
There goes the cart trying to lead the horse, though.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/25/1007:44 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
