Pretty sure its a MLC, now what?

[ericmsant2]

Lala

Sorry for this but I have to throw this out to the group before I go on….Am I the only one getting totally confused between lala and lola? LMAO….Sorry Lala – I had too.

I know that right now its my 'job' to care for her during the day, but I guess I'm looking to ease the burden of always being here or being responsible for finding child care on weeknights and weekends.

Although taking care of children is a first priority for many of us, you also need to take care of YOU. Your DD is the child of both YOU and YOUR H. IMO he needs to share in the responsibility of raising your child and that sharing should be more than just financial.

Personally, I think you should have the discussion. At the end of the day, you guys will need to co-parent your DD no matter what happens.

I think you need to stop worrying about what he is going to say, how he is going to feel and sit down and figure out what you think works for the both of you (with your DD best interest in mind). Come up with a plan that you think is fair. You should not try to punish him BUT he should bear some responsibility.

In terms of having him come over. I still live in the same house as my W and I have to tell you that it does present challenges. Can it be done. Yes. Is it ideal. Not IMO.

If you are comfortable with him in the house are you SURE that you do not want this as a way of maintain a connection? If you are, then know that you may be setting yourself up to be hurt. I understand that he only has an air mattress and TV in his apt. That is HIS choice NOT yours. Your DD should love him and be comfortable not matter where he lives.

My advice (FWIW) would be to focus on getting a job, figuring out what that schedule would be and then having a sit down with him to agree to what YOU want for YOUR DD.

In my stich as we are moving forward, my plan is to pick up my D everyday M-W at 6:30 and bring her back to my house (when I decide to leave), on Thrus, pick up her and my middle son after school and bring them to my house, on Friday pick up my oldest and have all three F – Sunday.

It can be done Lala…just think about what YOU want and don’t worry about what HE wants.

Good luck
Eric