Hi LL,
Are we leading parallel lives here? I don’t get here often but whenever I do I read your thread and I think, I don’t need a thread, LL does it for me LOL
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sleep?????????? what the heck is that????? the kids are in bed by 8 (usually) and if I go to bed a 10 that's but two hours for me to do whatever I want..wich may include catching up on some laundry or other task that is difficult with the kiddos underfoot...and let's not forget the only time LL can take a shower is when the kids are asleep and can be left alone for ten min without the roof falling in (or a big ole mess being made) dd wakes most every morning around 5 am and not happy as she really isn't ready to wake at that hour...last night she woke at 2 am but not before I was already awoken by the wind blowing out the power thus sending the alarm system into a constant beep...wich of course I had to go attend to while h just rolled over.

I'm tired and I'm tired of being tired...life is difficult enough and full of enough questions that I think it extremely unfair that I should have the added burden of what h has put me through.


I could have written this word for word myself

I am reading The Manipulative Child at the moment. Putting that stuff into practice looks like it is turning my life around the kids are MUCH better behaved. If you do decide to read it and give it a go, PLEASE get H to read it too before you start. I f***ed up and went with the program before explaining it to H. He now thinks I am bullying them and not allowing them to be kids. This is NOT the case.

I also realise from reading it how my H must have been brought up allowed to get away with too much. He was basically spoiled and now 'cus life is not a bowl of cherries he can't cope. He never learned how to deal with life's ups and downs.

Now I am letting the kids come to terms with it if I say no I mean no and they are getting the picture. This week my son has been up and downstairs several times on errands for me, started dressing himself. Not arguing when I say put your coat on etc etc. Both of them have been putting their toys away properly when I ask them too. If only our H's could be trained like this - LOL Can you just picture it, plonk your H on the step and say "you can stay there til you learn to behave". I am just dying to try it - lol lol


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here's the even more depressing aspect...

while I sat and waited and waited for h to have time away from work or football...he just got busier and busier...always with the promise that in time things would slow down for him...he'd have more dependable stable help...he'd have a strong customer base..."just let me get through these few weeks" " the winters coming" "this is just a busy time" etc etc etc...I knew h would always be engulfed in his work...it's who he is...I also knew that football was important to him (ok so I worked most sundays so I didn't know just how damn important then again I think he's gotten worse with age) I figured I'd be busy with the kids and that stuff so it would balance out, thing is I am obviosly capable of doing it all and wanting it all...I am a mom...a housekeeper..a fixer of dinner and doer of laundry..a tucker inner..a book club leader...a volunteer emt...but that's not enough for me...I'd still like a full and loving and passionate (damn it I want passion) relationship with a man.



Again you could be writing my story LL. One of the reasons I had kids was to have a bit more company around the house – go figure. H would come in from work too tired to engage in conversation, either slump in front of the TV or do yet more work at home, or play computer games. I just thought “I can’t live like this, I need to have someone around me I can chat to, have a little fun with etc.” So I went ahead and had kids. Don’t get me wrong I love them to bits but that was maybe not the wisest solution.

Take care

Fran

if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs
Erica Jong