Dealbreakers are, by their very definition, something over which one SHOULD move on. Otherwise, they weren't really dealbreakers (or, as I like to call them, Boundaries of Personal Integrity) to begin with.
I think I need to clarify...
I am not talking about a boundary. Yes boundaries are for you and must be enforced. An example would be if you shoot me then I will have you thrown in jail.
And
Probably not want to be M to you anymore.
I was more referring to what brings us here to begin with. Like an A. You may have said to yourself if my spouse has an affair then that is a dealbreaker. Well ...
Maybe not. When we find understanding, compassion and grace.
With regards to Boundaries of personal integrity...
I am only going to speak for myself on that one.
I get the concept and may be to protect you in the beginning.
BUT
I don't want to give ANYONE the power over MY integrity. I control that by how I react to what someone does.
I can't control what someone does so why would I give them the power to hurt my integrity.
My integrity is mine and have dominion over it. It is not subject to what someone else thinks or does.
As far as I'm concerned what someone else does or says about me or to me about my choices that are based in my integrity is....
What's the words I'm looking for
Quote:
Poppycock and gobbleygook.
When you allow that then anyone can have dominion over who you are and your integrity.
I also believe that it is a process to get to this understanding and is what I believe is part of healing and growth.
So yes one may need boundaries until this happens. BUT
When it happens maybe you don't need them anymore???
Pup,just my opinion and so on the whole I think we agree except on this point as you have already pointed out.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
