A new day ... or something equally cliche ....

[Truegritter]

So why is no one supporting PEI

Not sure I would agree with that statement.

Challenging her yes.

Not supporting? At least for me I don't feel that way.

Again coming from my own experience which also supports the advice given on this board...

There is a difference between moving on and moving forward.

In my first M my W had multiple affairs to which I finally said

enough.

I moved on.

I detached.

I felt like I healed BUT

There was lingering anger, doubt, and resentment.

So not really complete healing. (#3)

And that is my point between #3 and #4 Both are decisions maybe to move on (I also view both as part of standing as well)

I would submit that it is progression from #3 to #4.

The difference in my opinion is in the completeness of the growth and healing process.

Which MUST happen to be healthy and have successful meaningful relationships going forward...

Maybe with spouse, maybe not.

If you are making a decision to move on as a reaction to something your spouse did to you or some deal breaker then you haven't healed from that.

You will carry that anger on into the future WHEN you HAVE to deal with it.

Only PEI knows inside whether this is true.

Whether she has slain all the dragons...

So

From my POV I am here to give the benefit of my experience and point out my own observations with the goal of healing and growth for anyone coming here for advice.

So support or not support really is irrelevent. If she has healed and gown in her new self she would not care whether I support or not. She would not need it.

She would know it.

My expectation of PEI if I have any at all is that she listens to what is said here and makes her choices based on her core, of who she is, and without, anger, doubt or resentment etc.

Only she knows that and it is for no one's benefit but hers.

Anything else falls short of the mark IMO.

Anything less then you are lying to yourself.