- W was texting me calling me an [censored] and the kids cry because I always leave them. - She then texted me more angry feelings, and I just asked her to stop. - She kept going and going, which I was polite calm and not confrontational. - after about 1 AM she texted me and asked if I was safe? - She then started to light me up about talking when I got home - she came down and stood at the door about 2 AM. - She immediately went into me as a liar, that she cant trust me I have lied about everything over the last 7 years - and it has broken her beyond repair. - I was calm, but stated if you want to talk lets talk, but I will not let her stand there and call me a liar for an hour.
- SHe says she has notice my changes but felt 2 weeks is not enough.
- She said that when I agreed to go to my brothers and changed my mind, it was yet another promise I made that I broke. - We discussed the D, she said she doesnt see any other option, I told her that is her choice and that I would not fight her except where the kids are concerned. - She has so much hate towards me, I feel her pain and I want to comfort her and take it out of her, but I cant, not overnight. - She was obviously very jealous I was out, I did wear a new shirt and looked dapper. I know she noticed. - SHe went upstairs and sent me a text "NOt that I guess it matters anymore but why is it that u never fought for me? (for someone who wanted to leave you, she just revealed that she has some feelings for you, you are doing the right thing: "letting her go", don't fight for her, that would soothe her ego but it wouldn't bring her back to you, your attitude on this is "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me")
- I gave her a small hug and kissed her forehead and went back to bed, she just cried.
- Dont know if I did good or backtracked, I did what felt right at the time, I do know that. So this week she could go talk to attorneys dont know nothing I can do about it.
I did ask her how she expects things to be earlier, she wants us to be cordial and stuff. Well we will see what today and the next bring.
Well that's a recap of your post, for someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore, she sure is emotionally invested in you. Angry, sad, jealous, etc. asking why you didn't fight for her, etc. The crack about the kids crying because you went out was nice, nothing like using the kids to pull on the old heartstrings ;-) But it was ok when she went out by herself the other night to that wedding, the kids were fine that evening I'm sure of it (and I'm sure the kids were fine when you went out last night as well, that's just her trying to make you feel guilty, again, another test, the tests come in all forms, I've told you this already so you know)
I'm impressed she let you hug her and kiss her, especially since your situation is so new, I thought maybe she would have pushed you away.
If she wants to speak with lawyers this week, let her, that's her option, you can't control her, you can control you, let her do whatever she wants to do, you keep maintaining the same positive attitude, getting a life, going out, staying busy, etc.
If she wants to go, let her go. If she wants to call lawyers and file for divorce, let her. If she wants to move out, let her, in fact, agree with her and help her pack and move out.
Looks like you're doing ok so far, good job on this.
p.s. one thing to note, not a biggie but don't backslide, the one time when she got under your skin and you texted her back calling her a hypocrite, that's an emotional response from you, remember she's testing you, I told you this already, let her go crazy, your job is to remain cool, calm, confident and SANE. You know the tests are coming, that is your advantage, no matter how loopy she appears to be, no matter what she says, all of it is an emotional response from an insecure woman trying to test you to see if you will fold under her pressure. You know this now, so just be cool & calm.
