Started a new thread to ask a differetn set of questions...
Being a SAHD with WAW, I am giving her space and GAL, still in same house, different bedrooms.
She wants D and wants to keep the house. Question, when she starts doing routine things like mowing or trimming how much should I participate in these normal weekly items. Normally we would work together to get them done, but my thinking is that she needs to see what life would entail if I do have to leave.
There is very little communication right now, DB coach said I was headed in the right direction but she seems angry right now and to give it more time for her too cool off. I do not want to make things worse by not helping outside. I do my part in the house by doing laundry, dishes, cooking etc (more so now than before but again I think I need to so I get used to it in case I have to leave)
I think that you and I are in the sameboat. The first week is over and we're done bawling and blaming it on ourselves so much.
Were you lucky enough to find this soon.
Reading this forum, most folks don't find this resource as fast as we did and make a big mess out of it by blubbering right out the gate.
Our W's are still mad, hurt and wondering if this is really the right thing to do. I think. I'm a learner so if that's not true then please correct me.
There are 2 pillars of love and they both fit quite nicely into this DBing and DR.
They are Patience and Kindness. Working on both of those I think will help us.
This isn't really answering your question, but your posts brings this to my mind:
SAHDs have a particular challenge when it comes to attraction, as it's very easy for your wife to see you as the female in the relationship. Fairly or unfairly, this topic of "gender confusion" has been discussed wildly on this forum, and of course written about, and the women will tell you this is true.
I understand the SAHD is a career decision you guys have probably made, but why is your wife doing the outside chores, while you are doing laundry and dishes and such?
If I were you, I would try to look for things that you can INITIATE (don't wait for her to ask her, nor chime in to help her when she initiates a chore), in the way of home improvement or yard projects.
she just likes to mow and we've always worked together at trimming. These are the only outside chores she does. I actually start doing chores outside at about 6am and usually finish at aout 7:30 pm. I have to stop from time to time to run errands or to get the kids to or from school. She likes to sun while she is doing so maybe that's why.
I have always tried to keep the house clean, sometime cleaner than others. I do think she is/has tried to take over the role of husband (one of my issues is that she treats me like an employee)
