Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

H texted right after that one saying how the decision would be so much easier if it weren't for S (I agreed thinking he meant D). He meant commiting suicide. Plus how everything he ever wanted crumbled right in front of him and that he has so much hate & anger inside that he is completely broken. I didn't really know what else to say to that, so I just said thank goodness for S then (so that he doesn't kill himself). Then said that everything he could possibly want is right in front of him with me and S that love him and all he has to do is grab it. Also, said understood that he has issues, but that when you care for someone, you work thru it together. I left it at that for some food for that. It's his choice now...

I'm trying not to second guess myself now. It needed to be addressed since OW3 was not going away & if anything, seemed to getting more serious. I feel like I just pushed him into her arms tho, but I just have to remember that I don't want him in my arms, if he's running to her right after he leaves me. Definitely feels very sucky tho. It's unfortunate too that he's in a down depression cycle too. =/ I am obviously handling it a lot better this time - I think that 1st week I was still just in such complete shock that there was an OW3. It sucks, but I expected this reaction today. Now I'm just going to try to unwind & read a good book & try to get to bed early. Arr, so furstrating tho. =/