FFH: I know, it's hard. I'm still living with H too. He is not dating, and we are still sleeping in the same bed even. However, we basically have no real R right now. He said he is legally married to me, but not emotionally. SO: my stance has been to be cordial, friendly, but not overdoing it. Been GAL and all that stuff, so it helps to stay away from him. I really like Sox's post and ideas of how to be: friendLY but not "friends". I am polite and civil and laugh even, when we discuss things about the kids. I'm not going overboard to be his friend either, however.
Now: if I could reach Gucci's state of consciousness, perhaps I could pull of the friends thing! I'm not there. lol
I maintain that even though it is more painful to NOT be friends, I have to detach from that aspect of the R as well, because 1. it's better for me and 2. any hope of reconciliation rests on self respect and him being attracted to me once again. Being friends is not going to make him miss me.
That doesn't mean that I don't treat him nicely, but there's just a differentiation between civility and true friendship as Sox's chart clearly points out.
