Having another tough day. Took my Ds to a lake to scout for fishing locations, and had a good morning. Now I'm back at the house, with no GAL activities to distract myself with. I'm going to cook dinner for the entire family, but then I'm stuck.
It's so hard at times to cope with the sense of abandonment and loss that I'm feeling. It's hard when she's around, because despite my detachment, I want to talk to her but know I can't. Part of my life is just shut off; I used to share every thought I had with her, but now I can't.
I feel like I've spoken to my friends so much that I've worn out my welcome. I have church in the morning to look forward to, and then the afternoon with my daughters to play with.
It's been a little over 30 days since the Bomb, and I keep expecting each day to get better but it just hurts so much. I know it'll be easier when she's moved out, but that'll take months. Months that'll wear me down to nothing.
Prayer is about the only thing that helps. He seems to be answering my kyrie eleison...
Those of us who have been there can tell you what to do. You need to listen. Most of the people on this board are not going to be overly aggressive on their suggestions.
First off, if there is any passion of yours or dream that you had put away or minimized due to your marriage, now is a good time to start it up.
Also, you physical health is important. The wayward spouses actions will be emotionally draining and put stress into you. Some of it can be toxic. You have to get in the gym and get active. A good diet, multivitamin and supplementation should be taken as well.
You are going to need to get a life if you aren't doing one. I suggest spending time with the opposite sex. What your wife is doing to you, will make you less attractive to other females over time. You can restore and maintain it by having good attention from other females what your wife is doing will have little affect. Plus this diminishes the amount of cake she allowed to eat from you.
Some of the things required to pop the marriage back into place quickly are not easy or nice.
your wife has a sense of entitlement, and in her mind you will not know, or you will not go anywhere if you know. She is your best option. She is taking this for granted in her endeavours of allowing another man to penetrate her physically.
You have a short amount of time in which to act strongly, or else you will get stripped down to the bone like many of us have. You do not want to know how it feels to be degraded to the sense of little self worth, even to the point where you cannot get an erection.
I'd start doing things I like to do several times a week, taking care of my body, handling my business, and do some dates with the opposite sex or be where they are at. Be attractive, and if you are not, get it back. You have to do it anyway, and don't be stupid like the rest of us for as long as we have.
The other thing thats crucial, if you want your marriage back, is the affair has to be blown apart. Decisively, and strongly - do not tell them what you are going to do, do it and make sure its done to completion.
