Having another tough day. Took my Ds to a lake to scout for fishing locations, and had a good morning. Now I'm back at the house, with no GAL activities to distract myself with. I'm going to cook dinner for the entire family, but then I'm stuck.

It's so hard at times to cope with the sense of abandonment and loss that I'm feeling. It's hard when she's around, because despite my detachment, I want to talk to her but know I can't. Part of my life is just shut off; I used to share every thought I had with her, but now I can't.

I feel like I've spoken to my friends so much that I've worn out my welcome. I have church in the morning to look forward to, and then the afternoon with my daughters to play with.

It's been a little over 30 days since the Bomb, and I keep expecting each day to get better but it just hurts so much. I know it'll be easier when she's moved out, but that'll take months. Months that'll wear me down to nothing.

Prayer is about the only thing that helps. He seems to be answering my kyrie eleison...