I'd love to get an official, updated position from MWD herself on this issue, Sunny, because it has caused a TON of confusion and grief on the boards over the years.
The confusion comes from the article, entitled something like "While She Decides" or some such, on this very site. However, it was NOT written by MWD, and from what I can tell from reading DB and DR, the article does not accurately reflect MWD's views on boundary-setting and LRT, just to name two very important issues.
While it's true that Allen's, Sandi's, my and even others' advice on Infidelity does, from time to time, take a slightly firmer stance than the DB/DR books (because I don't believe that infidelity and adultery are MWD's specialty, so I follow those whose it is, like Harley, Tupy, McGraw, Spring and others), that article you reference is even FURTHER to the left on the "friends-vs.-hard stance" issue.
