it's very unattractive. it's as if my words were not heard. i am not interested in a relationship does not mean i want a one night stand or a friend with benefits. that's not who i am.
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Going out for coffee and interacting with other people is good it lets you start to become discerning and aware of other peoples behavior.
Do you see how your thinking changed your emotions and then your actions?
yes. i'm pretty guarded so i kept my arms, hands, and feet to myself. i did not dress to give the wrong message. i'm stylish not skanky. but i always put my best person forward.
even though pdt advised against going and steady said it's okay. i took both pieces of advice into consideration. as long as i did not make it an official date, i didn't see anything harmful. i also conducted myself in a professional manner. it didn't feel like a date. more like a meet-and-greet.
at first, it was all excited - omg, somebody is asking me out! and when that feeling went away and meeting took place, i found myself saying, i need to get out of this.
my instincts just said, i couldn't do it. and i said that i'm not over my m. i still want to make it work. despite what has happened, my h is still a good person. of course, then i got the "but don't you think you deserve better?" .. it's clear he doesn't want this. you might as well move on.
i smiled and said no, i think there is still hope. my h and i aren't hostile. we play squash together. everyone finds it weird but we are comfortable with one another and can still hold a conversation with each other. we've been squash partners/friends for a long time. i'm determined not to let our friendship end - even if the m ends.
after we parted ways, he told me he thought i was cute. but he wanted to go out as friends. i said i'm obviously not ready for a relationship and i don't want to lead anybody on. he said "hey, i'm not asking you to be my gf. we can go out as friends and see where it goes." this is where i may need to be firm. the fact that he says "see where this goes" means he doesn't get it.
so i've ignored his text msgs this morning. being playful and fun, can get you in trouble. i've learned my lesson. i won't be bitchy or cold .. i'll just be 'dumped' ;-)
