My H could have written that "script" except for the jealous part and the spending money (I am a saver although I don't deny us the pleasures that money can bring when we have it...he on the other hand, can barely keep a dollar in his pocket which led to me "controling" money).
My H didn't do phone chat stuff that cost money, he found the women online...he didn't do PA until he found the "perfect woman"...but pretty much the rest of it is spot on for his MLC feelings...like mentioned "the script"
I was blamed for him not going to college because I didn't want him to leave me...I was 15, what did I know? I also got a letter from H like this...exept he was telling me that he had asked OW to marry him! Hit me like a brick wall but then later he said he wasn't going to get married again because it was too much work and he didn't like handling the emotions of someone else...so who knows what was real there...what I do know is that I did work on the things that stung me...H had been severely abused as a child and my dominance was something he valued at one time but came to resent in MLC...my opinions were expressed strongly also and this made the little boy in him recoil and give in...I didn't even know he was giving in I thought he was agreeing with me!
I think you can change what you feel you need to change...make yourself happy...but don't fall into the trap of trying to "please"...in part of my H's MLC, before he left, before I even knew what was happening our roles had started reversing...he was standing up to me (this scared me) and I was running around focusing on what H wanted and what I could to make him feel better with me...that is not healthy either...I realized what I was doing on day when my sister was saying that I needed to tell H something and I burst out with "If I do that he will leave me!" I had never consciously felt H would leave, he had never threatened to leave at that point, but my radar was on and I had been ignoring it...hindsight is always 20/20 and I see it for what it was now...
Go, enjoy your trip, rest, reflect, meditate, and dream a little...take care of yourself and you will be fine.
