Is it such a bad thing that she is suppose to be doing something without me and yet focuses on things between us? Even though they r almost tension starters she seems to be fixated on what is happening with me? I don't get it
I made some smart ass comment last week about her picture on her profile
Well, if you've already apologized for that, then ignore her. If you haven't, then wait a while, and say something like, "I didn't put that very well. Sorry about that".
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
W is texting me from the wedding asking me about some randon email from last week. I made some smart ass comment last week about her picture on her profile for gmail. Its been over a week, she just now texts me asking about it? Trying to pick a fight, I'm not going to respond. If she brings it up again I'm just going to blow it off I am not. Going to engage every time she is trying to get me worked up
yup, let it be, she should be focusing on the wedding she was invited to and you can focus on your night with your kids, good job.
You will probably notice that your wife is going to do a lot of this, get used to it, women test men, some much more than others.
Had a great time with the kids, went to the gym then I took them to Chuck E Cheese(i really hate the place) but they had a blast. W kept texting me until her battery died, I sent some pics of the kids on rides, and she responded with looks like you guys are having fun. My replies were nice, cordial and short, some funny comments back and forth.
It appeared while texting she would have rahter been with us. I can see the next talk, will be why cant you do that with us together? or it will be past tense, why didnt we ever do stuff like that together? either way, it is what it is.
I stopped at the bank on the way home and the girl that usually helps both the W and I said to me" you need to take your W out on a date night" i chuckled and said why's that? She said I can tell in her mood and voice she is stressed out. Except for our family no one really knows we are having problems again. I would like to keep it that way.
Forgot to mention, The W left her wedding rings at work, she made a point to stop there get them, and let me know she was doing so. I didnt say anything about it, but she went out of here way to tell me, and that her boss does not like her wearing jewelry while she is working, understandable. I didnt make a big deal about it, really didnt even say squat.
I again know I am reading too much into things and will let it be, little things like that do give some hope.
see the next talk, will be why cant you do that with us together? or it will be past tense, why didnt we ever do stuff like that together? either way, it is what it is.
Mind reading and fortune telling will just lead you into trouble.
Quote:
W left her wedding rings at work, she made a point to stop there get them, and let me know she was doing so. I didnt say anything about it, but she went out of here way to tell me, and that her boss does not like her wearing jewelry while she is working, understandable
Her boss doesn't like her wearing her wedding ring? What planet is he from? Is he from frutopia? Is he hitting on your W? Is she trying to make you jealous or what? Proably best not to speak, but I would have said, "What kind of person doesn't like their employees wearing wedding rings? After all it's a symbol of the deepest human commitment.".
Don't sound right to me. Unless she works in a clean room or something....
Last edited by TimeHeals; 07/24/1012:48 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
SHe is a massage therapist and works for a chiropractor. If he is hitting on her, Ive seen him, if she went for him, well she can have him.
W came home around 11:30 from Wedding, it was in Downtown Dallas so it was about an hour away. She came in our room I was dozing off, S5 wanted to sleep in my bed so I let him. I sat up and she said "oh, I was just coming in to turn off the TV, she then turned around said "goodnight" which I replied the same and she went upstairs to bed.
I woke up this morning to the W standing next to the bed, D3 had made her way into my bed sometime last night and the W was holding our and looking at me. Got outta bed and we all went in to the LR. W was very upbeat, and started to tell me about the wedding. It was funny cuz she said they were doomed. I guess she is speaking from experience, in any case I just listened. She said the groom was 39 and the bride 24. W and I are ten years apart which makes it a little bit of a stretch but 15 years, thats a bigger stretch. The W had a confused look on her face talking about the grooms age thinking that I was only 36. I looked at her puzzled thinking I just turned 38 a month ago and you think what planet is she on.
THe W asked if I was still going to church tonight, I said yes, she said well I thought you wanted me to stay home and watch kids. I said I do I am going out after church. She didnt ask any more about it and I will leave it at that. It is a day party for a buddy and I will get dressed up which I havent done in quite a while.
She left for work, then called(didnt answer) and texted me to have our S5 blow bubles slowly today, he is in therapy(which I am a little disagreeable about) and it is part of his therapy.
So not much to report will spend the day with the kids, gym like usual and go to church as a family tonight.
W texted me and asked for a mutual frineds #, he will be at the party tonight so its a little weird she asked for his #, trying to let it go. Gotta run to a meeting.
So the W is now having a pouting fit, she said I was invited to the deal tonight as well. I said you knew about it when I did, she said I never told her about it. I know I did but I'm not going to argue about it. So basically she is pissed that I asked her to watch kids tonight so I could go to something we were both invited to. I had to leave so we didn't really discuss it much. But what I wanted to say was, you want your space you showw no interest in doing stuff together, wo why the F would I think you would want to go tonight. Obviously I didn't say that, the W is the type who will think I did all this on purpose will hold a grudge and I just want to tell her to f**k off but I'm not going to. We still have to go to church together tonight.
She was just sitting. Eyes forward with a look on her face like she hates me, nothing I can do about it, I want to slap the reality right in to that stubborn head of hers but it wouldn't help one bit. Sigmund Freud could come back from the grave tell her she is nuts and she wouldn't believe him, so nothing I can say will do any good either. Anyone think there is a way to smooth it over and try and invite her? Or should I leave it alone and go by myself? Rob u out there? Puppy don't know if you follow my post but you have some sound advice.
so she goes to a wedding alone but if you guys weren't having marital problems, I'm assuming you would have gone with her.
But you're going out to a party tonight, that I'm very sure she knew about as well even if she says she forgot about it or didn't remember the date, etc. (she knew about it obviously, she mentioned that she was invited as well)
Go to the party tonight, she needs to get used to the fact that this is what she wanted, she wanted to separate from you and live her single life, etc. And you be there to support her freedom, babysit whenever she needs you to and not have a life of your own in the entire process.
I never said she would be logical and I also mentioned that she would test you constantly with demands, expectations, bringing up the past, all the crap you've done, "tallying up the scorecard", etc.
Like I said before, expect this.
Since you're expecting it now, you know that it's coming, you know you don't have to get angry about it, you just carry on as you would normally, with a smile on your face and proverbial spring in your step.
Get ready, look good, smell good, dress good, and have a great time tonight.
Tonight is your night to get out, enjoy yourself, have a good time, reconnect with friends/family, etc. And your wife can deal with the fact that this is part of the reality she has chosen, there will be nights when she goes out and you're at home watching the kids, there will be nights when you go out and she's watching the kids. She asked for a separate life, this is part of it.
However, no need to put any of this in her face.
Let her vent, get angry, etc. You can't control her or her reactions, emotions.
You're doing good, keep it up.
And think about this, just last weekend you were technically preparing to move out of your home away from your wife & kids because she wanted you out.
You turned things around, you are in your home, where you need to be. As for her, if she doesn't want any of this, there will come a point where she will consider moving out, if that's the case, no worries, help her pack her bags, this is what she wanted and you're giving it to her.
You just be happy you're still at home, with your kids, and responding to your wife in a mature way.
You are right robx, It is normal to feel bad i guess, I so kept myself from saying you can come along, but I know she would say no, and feel it as a pitty invite, and then what? not a good outcome so I will go have fun and come home late. We did got to church somewhat together, at the last minute she decided to go tan first, WTF right before church? she did it to get a reaction, again. I am getting sick of the testers, anyway she did text me on the way and ask me to save a seat for her, I was fully expecting her to just sit by herself and mope. The service was good, we didnt hold hands or touch each other at all, which normally we would at least hold hands, first time we have been to church together since this crap started acouple weeks ago.
She will start testing me big time now, I am sure she will start getting apartment books and stuff like that, and as you said Robx I will keep a smile and keep doing what I am doing. I did have a meeting today, it was business but the guy I met with knows us personally. Told him we were having problems again, and told him I dont know If I have the energy to fight for this M. I love her, but I love myself too, and I am 2 years away from 40 and have too much on my plate. It kinda makes it easier to deal with to the fact I have to focus on me and the kids. Worrying about our M does not pay the bills, feed the kids and put gas in the tank. I am going to go change and get da hell outta here!!!!
