After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Quicksilver264]

Thank you SR. This morning was incredibly hard.

I normally get up and the FIRST thing I did was go down to let her out. Today, I just woke up and it all hit me. All I could do was stare at where she used to sleep.

My wife is having her cremated, and will scatter the ashes "when she is ready", of course meaning I won't be allowed to be there. So last night I took a big piece of slate, and carved her a headstone with my Dremmel. I put it in the sandbox where she loved to dig, and put another piece of slate in front of it with 3 candles, her favorite toy and bandanna. I put the most beautiful picture of her in a plastic sheath, and drilled it into the headstone. I also put some flowers from our garden around the headstone. I lit the candles at dusk, and just sat there a long time.

These past months I saw who my wife truly was. She ran from the marriage, she ran from her dying dog for "money" and "to get away from me", and she ran away last night with one of my dogs to her family leaving me alone.

I will NEVER regret the time I spent with my dog. I reshuffled my work schedule to take care of her, I was there for her in some very hard moments, and I showed her every day just how much I loved her.

But today was just so hard. This house feels so empty right now.