That's a good stance, Puppy. I do feel I conveyed that I have no expectations that this weekend was to be a magic pill or anything like that, but I still wanted him to honor his commitment to going.
Just make sure he understands that if he refuses to go that he is communicating to you
I am unwilling to work on my marriage. I am unwilling to complete my 50% of the work to repair any harm or damage I may have done thus far. By not going I am and will be allowing my marriage to end due to my neglect.
Make sure he understands that THIS is the MESSAGE he SENDS when he refuses to go.
Just make sure he understands that if he refuses to go that he is communicating to you
I am unwilling to work on my marriage. I am unwilling to complete my 50% of the work to repair any harm or damage I may have done thus far. By not going I am and will be allowing my marriage to end due to my neglect.
Make sure he understands that THIS is the MESSAGE he SENDS when he refuses to go.
That's good. I'm copying that and putting it in my phone where it's handy in case I need it.
Just make sure he understands that if he refuses to go that he is communicating to you
I am unwilling to work on my marriage. I am unwilling to complete my 50% of the work to repair any harm or damage I may have done thus far. By not going I am and will be allowing my marriage to end due to my neglect.
Make sure he understands that THIS is the MESSAGE he SENDS when he refuses to go.
I was going to copy and paste the "Convincing" document they sent me but it is really long and It's a pdf file. It's just really interesting. I like the principles in it a lot!
BTW: Willard Harley's book, Fall in Love Stay in Love, is required class material.
Now...H is over an hour late home from work and hasn't called, texted, or emailed that he would be late. He usually does at least that. Sometimes on Fridays he used to go for a beer after work but has not done that in awhile.
It's inconsiderate at best for him to not call. I had dinner ready.
Do I say anything - not say anything??? If I'm supposed to be "detached" then I'm not supposed to care what he does. BUT... I'm also supposed to defend the line of respect.
I think I'm going to go out for awhile and find something to do. I'm aggravated and don't want to be here when he gets back.
You are best to not say anything... He's wrestling with going to the weekend... If you start nagging at him for not making a phone call that will push him over the edge...
Just go easy on him for the next few days so he can get through the weekend... YOU may be excited about going, but it scares the hell out of him.
I didn't say anything. It turned out he made a stop before coming home to buy a new flatscreen tv. Ummm... why??? Especially when we don't have the money??? To put upstairs "for the boys" to replace the small tv they have to watch tv and play games on upstairs.
Here's the thing: I truly think he purchased it so they'd have a big tv of their own and not intrude on HIS Xbox in the home office. See, there's a big tv in there, and the boys preferred to play on it. Now, he won't be disturbed and can hibernate even more.
I am not saying anything since we have the weekend thing next weekend, but man does it make me angry! The boys are all thinking, "Yay, Dad!" when alls he is doing is further alienating himself from the family. Just aggravating.
And yes, Allen, I'm sure he really doesn't want to have to go next weekend. I'm not sure if the fear is from having to face himself, having to make changes, or having to make a decision or what. It's not like I'm looking forward to it so much, but I just know something has to be done. I honestly don't know what to expect out of the weekend. Should be interesting...
