I love W and am extremely happy for the 20 mostly good years together, but I have a lot to offer and there’s a lot yet to experience. I want to be happy. Now and for the rest of my time here. That can happen together, but if not, it MUST happen apart. I will not live this way. I WILL be happy. However that occurs. I love this quote. I think this is exactly the attitude that we all need to take. We will work on it but if it is not to be we will be happy elsewhere. With or with out them. There are lot of fish in the sea so to speak, everyone here likes thier fish but sometime we must throw that fish back and fish again. We most likely will catch a much better one that will not lead us to this board or at least I hope that for everyone here.
One thing that makes me cope better is thinking of what I've been missing in a relationship. I consider myself very affectionate, but with my W things have always been out of whack. Little things like touches, caresses, even when we ML it always seemed centered on my W instead of a mutual thing.
So now when I get mad or hurt, or sad, or bitter, I think of how great it will be to be in another relationship where my affection isn't squelched, where I can love someone mutually, where I'm happy. I haven't been happy in years, though I'm the LBS. I can't wait to start to enjoy the company of a woman who has something to give, not someone who just takes and takes.
Too bad for my daughters that they have her for a role model; hopefully I can counteract that influence by being the best dad, in a happy and healthy relationship.
One thing that makes me cope better is thinking of what I've been missing in a relationship. I consider myself very affectionate, but with my W things have always been out of whack. Little things like touches, caresses, even when we ML it always seemed centered on my W instead of a mutual thing.
So now when I get mad or hurt, or sad, or bitter, I think of how great it will be to be in another relationship where my affection isn't squelched, where I can love someone mutually, where I'm happy. I haven't been happy in years, though I'm the LBS. I can't wait to start to enjoy the company of a woman who has something to give, not someone who just takes and takes.
Too bad for my daughters that they have her for a role model; hopefully I can counteract that influence by being the best dad, in a happy and healthy relationship.
Theres plenty of good women out there my mate. Plenty who will want you just as you are.
AM I TURNING INTO THE WAW? Somebody please tell me this is natural and will pass if there is some success. I know what I will do. The Kids' security and development will trump these feelings, but they do have me nervous.
I went through this turn and it can be quite intoxicating. Just keep in mind that every relationship is complicated and imperfect. You will likely find yourself swinging back and forth, one day missing the marriage and the next intoxicated by the future possibilities.
I would seek to find a balance in the two, where you are open to either outcome. The Buddhist's love to use the term 'Equanimity', which is defined as evenness of mind, especially under stress. This is the state where you are in the best position to make a wise decision about your (and your kids) future.
Last edited by techguy; 07/26/1011:09 PM.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
