Oh good-I'm glad to hear the mylicon has helped your little girl! Well now that you know she has been gassy maybe you can do some detective work to see what is causing it! (duh-sorry, I bet you already are on that!)
You know, asking about your H's life is huge. Are you kind of nervous about what you will hear him say?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Well, I went on a broccoli binge recently. So I'm throwing the rest that I have away. So sorry, little girl! But I love broccoli so much.
Anyway, I've asked him really safe things. Is he looking forward to Colorado, did he have a good day, stuff like that. I DIDN'T ask Are you looking forward to moving or anything like that.
OH WOW!!! I missed so much!!! So couple of things... Mylicon... heard lots of great feedback, think I need to introduce it to S! When I first read that your D was feeling gassy, i thought, must be the food you are eating, as i have been told the same. So bye bye broccoli for now
I have to share in NM and Piano and the other's excitement on here! YOUR H WANTS TO TRY C!!! Excellent!!! not sure who wrote what but who doesnt benefit from counseling! and seriously, he left you once already... so it cant sting the same way twice... and you are much stronger and smarter now! And you have your D to give to continued stregnth!
Sounds like your H is seriously in crisis, and him wanting to try C is him asking for help. With MLCers, they have a hard time finding their way back home, and dont know how. (poor excuse, i know) but respect the situation and tackle it head on!
I WANT THIS TO WORK OUT FOR YOU!!! Dont listen to what H says about some couples arent meant to be, blah blah blah! He is insecure and scared. No, he doesnt fully understand the pain and hardship you suffered, but that doesnt mean he isnt suffering greatly inside too... yes, he is selfish, but most people get that way when they are feeling down about themselves... Clearly when he left, he wasnt thinking of anyone but himself, now he may start realizing that life is not just about him...
read my last post, H wanted to try MC in the spring, and eventually backed out, and blames me for not going, and I wish he would want to go again now! he has state boards in two weeks, and I hope afterwards he wants to dedicate some time to 'us'
I dont want to give you false hope... but i think this is a positive! like Piano said, you are a natural DBer... and while some may think this requires flash warnings, I think you need to trust your gut and take a chance.
What have you got to lose! if it doesnt work out, you are no far worse than you are now, and if it does... There are endless possibilities! So go for it! Take a chance... you dont want to look back and wish you had gone to C together... take baby steps and start reading up on Reconciling! some posts on here are pretty interesting!
1) I think my baby has colic! and 2) Just not into WH right now. Know how that goes, up and down? I am not into him. He sort of flaked on me again tonight. Sort of. I think I was also cranky about the inconsolable baby. So it's hard to think/feel clearly when that's happening.
But just not into him at the moment. I'm almost thinking that we didn't have what I thought we had. But we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
Damn, I am sorry to hear your baby has colic! BUT. My best friend, C's baby girl did and by the 5th-6th month it mellowed out and then things were wonderful. Now I am not saying that it will take that long for your baby girl! I am just saying that a rough beginning doesn't mean it will last a long time! Good thing your baby girl has YOU for her mama...patient, loving, optimistic Gatsby! And on your side, hang in there...it is really hard and you are doing a great job! It is hard work!! Be proud, honestly!
"I'm just not into WH" Hee hee! Gee, wonder how he likes that? Sorry, am chuckling because he is not the only one allowed to waver in his feelings for you!
But as far as you thinking you didnt' have what you thought...at the present time,no. But the present is fleeting and when he gets his head on straight it will come back! It was real!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Hey G, I can relate to that. My WH is flaking on me too. Sounds like Newmama and Babydoll have husbands that don't flake so much in the parenting department, but ours are more unreliable, with mine taking Gold in all things flakey/wayward, ha! NM is probably right though - your husband might get his head straight one day. As for colic, I think my baby has too! It's hard to tell with the brace on, and she's currently got a cold also, but she just goes bananas every time she's about to do a bowel movement. Is that what colic is? After reading your thread I eliminated broccoli last night (I've been having it every day too!!) and that worked much better! Hang in there - you are right, when things are not good with the baby it makes our WH's waywardness even more hurtful and disappointing.
1) WH had bad bad bad colic as a baby. Fits him! I, of course, was an "angel baby," my mom said. Hee hee. I think my mom has a bad memory, ha!
2) Colic is crying when there is no reason. With the brace and the cold, I don't think bub has colic at this point. Then, colic is when the crying continues for more than 3 hours and at least 3 times a week. It supposedly lasts until 3 or 4 months, like NM said. But the peak is supposed to be around 6 weeks. Where my little girl is today!
I think it's good to teach each other baby stuff, so if any of you have any revelations, let me know!
About WH: You're right, NM. I'm just really getting used to WH not treating me very well. He didn't during the whole pregnancy. So it's approaching a year of this!
I just feel like I deserve to be treated well. But the colic is distorting my views, I can tell.
Flakey, P, yes! My WH's problem is that he is too much of a people pleaser. So when he's with me, he'll say that he can do this or that. Then when he's with others and it's the time to follow through on what he said he would do, he's busy trying to please them!
Just last night he said he wanted to make his visits earlier, from 6-10 instead of 8. I said let's make it 7. He said no, 6. My prediction, ladies: one time out of 10 he'll make it here at 6. The rest of the times will be 6:30, 7, 7:30, and even an occasional 8. He wants to make it here at 6 and he tells me that's what he'll do. But he's trying to please me at that moment and he's not being realistic.
So we'll see what happens! He's coming over again tonight, but then he'll be out of town for 10 days. (Going on a camping trip with boys from my school.)
WH stopped by again, in the afternoon though, because he knew he couldn't stop by tonight. (That's good! More realistic!)
He said:
"I really want to start counseling. If you do. I know you don't want to hear this, but I had a really hard time packing up the apartment to move. I wondered why it was taking me so long, and then it was because I realized I didn't want to leave.
I don't know what happened to me, what happened to us. I think there's something wrong with me, Gatsby. I think I have clinical depression.
Do you think we can start counseling?"
I said we should give it a try.
So.... crystal clear, this time! Wow.
I think he thinks he has bipolar, I'm going to be honest. We wondered before he started therapy. He looked like he wanted to say more after 'depression' but didn't.
I've been following each and everyone of your threads for quite some time and I must say all of you are so strong. It looks like we all are in the same boat but with different characters. My baby is only one week old, but she's nursing like a champ so far.
Gatsby11- That is wonderful that he wants to start counseling.........happy dance for you two! There is hope! I'm so happy for you.
