Hey all, it's me, Hope4Luv, and I'm starting a new thread. My old one (http://tinyurl.com/Hopes3rdThread)got locked and things are shifted for me so the timing's right. I am not ready to leave my friends here, although I am not piecing. I belong more in MLC, or Infidelity, or Separated. I'll get there but I don't want to lose you.
Any tips on how to alter my signature? I forgot :P
As you know, I"m pretty dark - as much as possible while sharing a child. I am supposed to have "family friday night dinner" at 5pm tonight(a religious ritual) but I"ve had another panic attack since about 2:30 when my S, my dad, and I walked past H's L's office! (by coincidence). I've been panicked out ever since with the thought of being in the same room as him anymore.
It makes no rational sense, as he's done a 180 since I have - I've pulled back, he's been calm, reasonable, civil, I even got a thank you and he ASKED last night to "watch how I discipline S" since I had texted I him that I wanted to talk with him about disciplining S. I will share the story later when I can calm down and think - but anyhow I've been worried for at least nine months about H's anger problem at S and he admitted to me that he's "trying not to physically handle him roughly" and that he knows S said not to yell. He admitted these things?!?!?!?!? WTF? And he actually asked for my advice, instead of shutting me out? I don't get it. But anyhow more later but this new attitude doesn't help me when I'm planning to D him and fight for custody because of abuse! Not to mention it pulls me back into fantasy that we'll reconsile because "he seems to be coming around". UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is he acting the way I wanted him to - now that I"m leaving? IT's totally backward and confusing and freaking me out bigtime.
