When you are ready to date, you will date because it's what YOU want to do and you won't be thinking about the effect it will have on your sitch.
the thing is, when it all happened (everything leading up to the big question of "would you like to go out on saturday?") .. i wasn't thinking about my h at all. i didn't think about whether i should tell him or not. i didn't think about getting him back. i didn't think about what reaction i was going to get. i wasn't trying for a reaction.
like you, if he found out and asked, i would be honest about it. but i wasn't going to go out of my way to let him know.
i have to admit though - it's very flattering. ever since i started playing squash more often, the feel good endorphins (sp?) took over and i started smiling again. i got a life. i made new friends. and a cute pair of lululemon shorts didn't hurt. my happy playful good girl nature is what got me into this dating dilemma.
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I made that known to the other person. They're grown ups, they can decide for themselves if they wanted to go out based on the truth I told them.
i need to learn to be clear on this. i said i was going through a separation/divorce at the moment. and i ended it like that. i figure (and this is bad mind-reading) that the person would know that they are dealing with a woman who is still legally married.
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I would imagine the reason you are rationalizing like a wayward is because inside you know you aren't doing it for the right reasons. It's the same for the wayward - that's why they rationalize - to override their conscience.
my goal throughout has been to do the right thing - in the end, i have to live with my decisions. i don't want to say things like "well, he was cheating me so it's okay for me to date". i have no proof. and if he was cheating on me or dating someone and didn't tell me .. it still doesn't make it okay for me to do that as well. if h wants to do that, that's him. that's so jr. high. that's not me. i want to hold myself to a higher standard than that.
ever since i started playing squash more often, the feel good endorphins (sp?) took over and i started smiling again. i got a life. i made new friends. and a cute pair of lululemon shorts didn't hurt. my happy playful good girl nature is what got me into this dating dilemma.