It's spooky how similar most sitchs are. I guess it's just a testament to the fact that we're not all special little snowflakes, but people pretty much wired the same way.
WOW who woulda thunk it, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and all that other crap.... LOL!
Yes, we're wired the same way, some people respond to their instincts/programming in different ways, some accept it, some rebel, some kind of go along with some of it, some fight it but still succumb to it.
We're human beings.
So all of these situations are going to be similar.
People need to know this, accept this and use this information when deal with their situations, you don't know how many times come on here and include the words in their post, "but you don't know my wife/husband, they're different!"
yeah.... different!
You know what would be different for me, a woman with 3 boobs: 2 in the front, one in the back for slow dancing, that would be different.
LOL!
I'm still waiting for that, I haven't seen it yet, so until then, everything is pretty similar around here.
Yeah, I don't know what I would have done without this forum. I'm almost scared to think of what a spineless jelly fish I would have become.
And i also find myself thinking that perhaps this marriage isn't worth saving. It might just end up being a repeat of the first 2-3 years, then devolve into more of the same since she's not having much personal growth.
My pastor said that since my W is having trouble with making big decisions and moving on, that I might have to be the one to file. I said I couldn't, I can't break my vows. The only thing that would change my mind towards this would be infidelity.
Bravo. For the exact same reasons I took the "I won't resist, but I certainly won't assist, either" approach. Other than that - and not knowing your entire sitch which I'll read up on later - I'd say make your own decisions, let her agonize over hers, but keep you out of it.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I had made a list of steps I need to do since she's separating, and it was pretty long and explicit. Prepping the house, selling it, changing legal stuff, finding a mediator, yada yada yada.
I also told her I was going out for the night, and she was asking where, when, if I was going to spend money, etc. Told her I didn't know when I'd be back.
So then she comes in saying she's sorry if she did anything to make me not want to talk to her, that she knows I can't stand to be around her anymore (fishing for more attention). I told her I wasn't mad, and that I was sorry she felt that way.
I had made a list of steps I need to do since she's separating, and it was pretty long and explicit. Prepping the house, selling it, changing legal stuff, finding a mediator, yada yada yada.
I also told her I was going out for the night, and she was asking where, when, if I was going to spend money, etc. Told her I didn't know when I'd be back.
So then she comes in saying she's sorry if she did anything to make me not want to talk to her, that she knows I can't stand to be around her anymore (fishing for more attention). I told her I wasn't mad, and that I was sorry she felt that way.
Methinks the kitchen is getting a bit too hot.
methinks you're doing just fine, you can handle the heat, but shouldn't you be getting ready to go out, make sure you look and smell great, like you're going out with a certain someone new ;-)
Hey pinhead, Just wishing you good luck, and another good book that I was recommended was "No More Mr. Nice Guy" just started it , but so far so good. Well Hope for the best and take time for yourself!! Talk later Hope
Having another tough day. Took my Ds to a lake to scout for fishing locations, and had a good morning. Now I'm back at the house, with no GAL activities to distract myself with. I'm going to cook dinner for the entire family, but then I'm stuck.
It's so hard at times to cope with the sense of abandonment and loss that I'm feeling. It's hard when she's around, because despite my detachment, I want to talk to her but know I can't. Part of my life is just shut off; I used to share every thought I had with her, but now I can't.
I feel like I've spoken to my friends so much that I've worn out my welcome. I have church in the morning to look forward to, and then the afternoon with my daughters to play with.
It's been a little over 30 days since the Bomb, and I keep expecting each day to get better but it just hurts so much. I know it'll be easier when she's moved out, but that'll take months. Months that'll wear me down to nothing.
Prayer is about the only thing that helps. He seems to be answering my kyrie eleison...
