After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Quicksilver264]

Well today her anger it was about the dog.

I was showing some happiness around the dog because I didn't want her last hours at home to be sad and tense.

My wife gets home from work, and I am all happy and WHAAAAAAM. LASHES OUT AT ME LIKE NO OTHER. I mean REALLY comes at me.

She said "F- OFF". I replied "No, only YOU do that".

Then I told her "You should stop running. You have been doing nothing but running. You need to face this, and give that dog HAPPY last moments inside her OWN home".

The she replies "I have been traveling to make money, money so I can... Well you know that I need money". What total selfish BS.

I snuck some other truth darts in here too. I am coming out HARD now. No more BS, and I am calling like I see them.

ALOT of my fear lately has been about my dog dying. I was projecting it onto other aspects of my life. But after being there today, and watching her go to God, I am sad, but feel relieved and somewhat at peace.

But she simply would not even look at me the entire day. Goooooooone.

[Allen A]

Yup.. let her guilt stew and beat her senseless... This is how people GROW UP... Her mother's been bailing her out all the time so she's never had to process emotional growth yet...

Hurts like hell having to grow up when you are thirty years old. It's a lot easier to do it gradually when you are a child... oh well...

Just remember to throw the TD and get OUT of there... or it becomes a free for all...

Nice TD's so far though.

Next time she says she needs money :


Filing for divorce without even trying to negotiate with your spouse kinda puts you in a financial bind it does ya... So does lying to your parents

But YOU filed, not the dog... Why is it because YOU want something everyone ELSE has to suffer for it?

[Seeing Red]

So sorry about the dog, QS. We've had to put several pets down over the years and it's never easy. My thoughts are with you.

[Quicksilver264]

Thank you SR. This morning was incredibly hard.

I normally get up and the FIRST thing I did was go down to let her out. Today, I just woke up and it all hit me. All I could do was stare at where she used to sleep.

My wife is having her cremated, and will scatter the ashes "when she is ready", of course meaning I won't be allowed to be there. So last night I took a big piece of slate, and carved her a headstone with my Dremmel. I put it in the sandbox where she loved to dig, and put another piece of slate in front of it with 3 candles, her favorite toy and bandanna. I put the most beautiful picture of her in a plastic sheath, and drilled it into the headstone. I also put some flowers from our garden around the headstone. I lit the candles at dusk, and just sat there a long time.

These past months I saw who my wife truly was. She ran from the marriage, she ran from her dying dog for "money" and "to get away from me", and she ran away last night with one of my dogs to her family leaving me alone.

I will NEVER regret the time I spent with my dog. I reshuffled my work schedule to take care of her, I was there for her in some very hard moments, and I showed her every day just how much I loved her.

But today was just so hard. This house feels so empty right now.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm so sorry, QS. It's going to take awhile, and there are going to be so many things that remind you of her. Make your fitting memorial, and then try to put the other stuff (her toys, etc.) away safely so you don't have to keep being reminded.

As for this:

My wife is having her cremated, and will scatter the ashes "when she is ready", of course meaning I won't be allowed to be there.

I trust you to do what YOU want to do in this regard.

Puppy

[Allen A]

your wife's not trying to get away from you dude, she's trying to get away from her own pain.. she's convinced if she is no longer associated with you the pain will go away.

It will be a sad day for her when she wakes up and the pain is still there...

[SunnyD]

This is very true. It's NOT ABOUT you, QS... it's about her unhappiness with herself.

Sorry it's a difficult time, with the dog. When I lost my beloved white shephard a few years ago, it was so difficult - I started each day with tears for awhile. Stay busy. Put your love into your other dog. It's probably grieving too. Most of all, take care of yourself the best you can!

[Quicksilver264]

Well puppy, that boost mobile phone idea was absolutely fantastic.

I've now learned that she has been going all over the area today, and looking for apartments, apparently with her mom.

So it looks like she may have signed a lease, and I am not sure if that younger guy from work is on it or not. But I am very sure that she is moving out sometime in August, first week of September at the latest.

That was like a punch in the gut today, it really was.

I knew our dog dying yesterday would push her to run even faster. Like I said, that dog started the whole thing, and now her death ends it.

Now I have to sit back and watch her 1) move out, 2) be all giddy about "her own place", and 3) possibly have a nice young roommate to bang.

Sometimes the Universe just won't let up on you. Like last night I had to face the cold hard reality my dog was NEVER coming home. Even up until THAT DAY, my brain just kept thinking that everything would be ok. "Oh she will be fine, this just isn't happening". Sort of like how I had hope for my marriage.

Now I have the SAME feeling about my marriage. It's just like I am looking down at my dog at 3:57pm yesterday. I just realized that my wife just isn't coming home anymore. I mean she may BE here for a bit, but the woman I married is gone.

Wow what a 2 days so far. But SOMEHOW, there is just this small small part of me that sees some hope for my marriage. I don't know if it is stupidity, or something else.

[Allen A]

If your wife has moved out QS pack her stuff and put it at a dry storage facility...

I have seen guys on this forum who just left their spouse to move out on their own and they milked it for every ounce of pain they could... You do NOT want to go through that... It's a slaughterhouse

If she's moved out you pack her stuff and put it elsewhere.. don't wait for her to pick it up...

[Quicksilver264]

Well her argument is that if she is still paying half the mortgage, then she can come and go as she pleases, and store whatever she wants here.

I THINK she plans on staying here the first 2 weeks of Aug, then she is gone 3 weeks, and then Labor Day she is moving out.

And I TOTALLY get about milking it for the pain. I think the last week she is gone away I will pack everything up and put it into storage.

I know she is going to get her parents to help her move, so I might as well just do it myself and not give her the satisfaction of making me suffer more.

But this all has been Hell on my dogs. The one here with me is shedding like crazy, and his breed DOESN'T SHED. And he has diarrhea too.