You are defining a healthy marriage... if he won't even meet you on what's healthy for the both of you...

His history alone should warrant him deferring to YOUR judgement and he should be keeping his mouth shut...

Two affairs in how long a time frame? He really doens't have ANY credibilty here right now...

If YOU approach him as if he's diong you a favour or as if you are ASKING him to ACT like an ADULT you will be met with childishness every time.

Give him time to read the text before pushing harder...