Attorney told me yesterday that he does not know how live day to day in my situation. He said it must be tough. He said it is so abusive on so many levels. I told him I do it for the kids, and that I have no choice.
I am waiting for my response to be amended by him. I hope it is good.
Wife asked about some money I spent at 7-11. I just smiled at her. She asked how I was going to pay it. I just said nothing and played with the kids. She is p!ssed tonight for some reason.
I don't care. I don't have to repay it either according to attorney.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I think she was mad that I used a credit card to buy some flowers and a Thank You card for D and S to give to the firefighters at the local firehouse for the tour they gave them. I really wants to be a firefigter, and he wants to thank them for the tour. She did not like that I went shopping with everyone tonight without asking. To her, it is her money, not mine. The recent attornies I spoke with said I can use the credit cards too. I am doing it now.
I am still waiting to hear back on the job. I hope this D will cause me to lose a job I want so bad. What should I do. I have not told the recruiter yet. I am worried I won't be considered. Any suggestions?
I have been sticking up to my STBXW. I do not want this D still, but the M the way it is would never work for me with her having an affair with OM.
I have not seen this angry in a long time. She was home a little earlier tonight. I wonder if her and the OM are having trouble?
I can't wait for tomorrow to be here already. I am still surprised about her coming home with quarters for me to do laundry. I did not care either way. I just would not do it anymore. She is acting odd today.
She also talked to her parents for 2 to 3 hours last night.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I have heard here that it is race between the WAS and LBS to save the marriage. I feel like in my Sitch that I would not be able to go back to our M even if she ever wanted too. I believe that she would never want the M back anyways. I do not see any signs at all that she does or ever would.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
It sure sounds like she is having issues, for sure. It's interesting to watch when people self destruct.
Yes, it is a race....and only time can tell who gets there first! W's behavior is emotionally abusive, that's for sure. No self-respecting person has to put up with that.
She gave me $20 to take the kids to get something to eat while she goes to a party or something tonight. I guess she thinks she can give me money for this so she can do what she wants. It does not matter if the kids and I need or want money for something. It is only when she wants to give it to us. I do not care about the money, just the kids. This the second Friday in a row that she has done this. I enjoy the kids, and it is nice when she is gone, so I do not have to put up with the way she acts.
It seems as though she is trying to buy me and the kids to do what she wants. I do it because I like to spend time with the kids, and I don't care about the money.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I truly believe that I could never go back with her even if she called the D off. I don't trust her, and I think she would have alterior motives to gain custody of the kids. I would never want to be in a weaker position in the custody part of the case. I think I have to many trust issues with her now to ever make it work. I am completely looking forward to this being over. If I knew for sure that I could trust her, and my marriage had a chance, I would give it one more chance.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I am trying to figure out how to balance saving my marriage, and not losing my divorce. It is very difficult to keep the middle ground. I do not forsee reconciliation in the future if the D goes my way at the hearings. I believe that she will hate me forever. I have to risk this or lose my kids.
I still love my W and want my marriage, but I do not see the alternatives recently.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I found that at 9:11 pm, July 26, 2010, my W had 3 messages from OM on her new cell phone. She wanted to talk about finances, but we did not have the chance last night. I am not sure what this is about, but I guess I will find out today. She is becoming more and more agitated with the kids, and she is trying to take them more and more on the weekends. She also complained when I made dinner for me and the kids because I did not use the chicken she had for one of the dishes. I was not told what to use, so I used some food that I had bought before my temporary position ended. She still complained because she had planned to use it without letting me know. I did not care, but I did not appreciate her being upset over me trying to feed the kids when it was already 7:00 pm at night. The were hungry and needed to eat.
We have to go to a deposition for another case at our apartment. I really don't want to be in the car or with her today.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
W and I had a court matter unrelated to the D. It started out with W wanting to talk about how we will divide the bank accounts and the credit cards on the way. I just said that the courts will decide these matters. She said that she wants it to be "diplomatic." I just said we will wait for the hearing to find out how diplomatic it will be.
After the court matter, we did talk more like we use to, and I did validate, and I did not argue about anything with her. I just listened to what she had to say. She asked if I knew where we where, and we had a decent time together. She did go to see our D and S at the church and said "hi" which she has not done before.
She said she is glad we both do not have attornies, and I told her that she could be glad about anything she wants to.
We had a nice dinner, and she bought me a soda.
She changed her attitude after she said she had something to do, and she was texting him in the bathroom again, so nothing has changed.
I had a little hope because I saw a glimmer of my W that I once adored and loved so much.
I have to follow through with the D. I do not know how to get her back to me. I still felt for the first time in a long time we could make it, but it quickly faded. It does not feel so good.
This was the first time we really talked to each other in months. Sadly, I believe we will not talk like this again.
It hurts me bad tonight! I will be okay.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
LSG, I just think you need to find some way to get an upper hand here - for yourself if nothing else. You will feel much better about things when you start to feel you have some control over your life, if not the situation at hand.
I know it's very hurtful. I think you have to keep in mind that W doesn't want to feel guilty - and she probably feels better about what she is doing when things are more civil between you two. Civility does not equal respect - just keep that in mind. When you can feel that you hold your own cards and are done letting the hurt rule your life, that's when you'll have gained "hand". Trust me, I know - I've been there!
