Well, she called this morning and I stupidly answered. She swore how much she loved me and wanted to come home. It just screws my head up. She said how she would treat me like a king and she made the biggest mistake of her life and all she wants is her family back. That she was on drugs when she did all this and didn't realize how much of a mistake she was making. she said she would get this annulled and would get off drugs if i would forgive her. Problem is I don't believe her and all the stuff she says. i dont get her motivation. I just don't understand. she says she dreams of me everynight and doesn't want to live without me. I am not really asking for advice. I am just saying why? Why, doesn't she know that she is destroying me as a person. I have no life. I don't want to live. I don't know what to do. i don't think that I would be happy if she came back, i am to scarred, i dont think i will be happy if she stays gone. i think that my depression level is to far gone to come back from. I get no enjoyment from anything, sex, food, sleep, nothing is fun for me. People say time will heal but it is not doing anything yet. Each day is the same-awful.
