...I know a huge part of my recovery is to GAL. I truly suck at it. Tonight after work, I am going for a beer with a friend, but even that is really of no interest to me. I am trying to force myself to do anything other than sit in my house.
You see, that's a problem. Going out with a friend for a beer is a good thing, especially after work, you get to vent off some steam, drink a few pints, try some different beers, literally, taste some different stuff, get into it, when I travel to the States from the land of "Canadia" and hook up with my co-workers for meetings, they all look forward to going out with me at the end of the day, "Rob let's go out, you're only here for the week, let's go grab a few beers, something to eat". These guys all have their own lives and could easily make excuses like "have to go home, family night, etc." but they all jump at the opportunity to go out for a brew and just shoot the $hit. Is it because I'm the greatest co-worker and friend they have in the world? (possibly, but that's another story altogether LOL!), they enjoy going out, talking outside of work, the idea is "the world can wait, tonight we'll go out and enjoy a few brews and relax", it's a great mentality, it's very satisfying and enjoyable, you talk about crazy stuff, you laugh, you have a wicked time and they all say "tomorrow night, we do this again!".
Life is short.
Really it is.
We lead a largely linear life experience. We're born, we grow up, we die.
Yes I know, very uplifting when you look at it like that.
So what are you doing between point A and point B.
Are you taking advantage of the time you have between those 2 points.
Being a martyr sucks, take it from me, 10 years ago I was that same guy, I won't ever go back to that again, life sucked, there was no enjoyment in it and that is the true secret to life, enjoying it because it is so short and it's so crucial that you enjoy this journey and currently bro, you are not enjoying it.
You dread going for a beer with a friend after work.
That really sucks.
That's really a metaphor for your life as it stands right now.
Sit back and soak that part in.
Tell us that this life so far feels super great for you.
You know it doesn't.
You also know that you are in charge of your life, so apparently you are holding yourself back.
Sucks to be handcuffed by yourself and to also hold the key in your hand to unlock those shackles. On top of that, you have several backup copies of the key available just in case you lose the one you're holding. You literally have every chance to unlock yourself from your current life to open the door to the exciting great life you so richly deserve.
No one is standing your way except for you.
Get thee some counseling and handle your depression, it sounds like you are in major dumpsville to be thinking like this.
No meds, you can cure this depression with a swift kick in the arse and splash of cold water on your face and telling yourself that a great life is yours for the taking you just have to say.... "YES, I want this now!"
