Yes you do make sense...to respectfully, with quiet dignity, self-esteem, and common courtesy...stand for my marriage...and getting a LS does not go contrary to this.
You want to hear crazy-ass? My H actually thought he could become a stand-up comic...don't get me wrong he is extremely funny but how crazy to think that he could just take the stage and make it big!...He even bought books on how to become a stand-up comic...then he went through the maybe-I-will-be-a-musician stage...all the while dressing and acting 30 years younger then his age...dyed his mustache and whatever you want to call the fur patch on his chin (the color job was aweful and looked rediculous) even got the sporty silver BMW to complete the look...and with no real paying job I might add (I called BMW and told them not to bother calling me when he defaulted cause I warned them...he defaulted 3 mon. later)...
The BMW and a few other things were reasons I got the LS and to protect my son from his crazy father because at times he was not fit to parent and my son was only 9 so he really was not mature enough to handle his fathers issues on his own...
But...in all of this, I loved him...not the "him" he was at the moment but the one that I knew was hurting somewhere...my heart ached for him for his hurt...I had felt like half of my body had been amputated without anethesia! So many of my friends thought I was crazy for even standing...thankfully those same friends came back years later and apologized, telling me they were glad I didn't listen to them...why? Because my H is back...in many ways he is different, in many ways he is the same...and in many ways I think he is better then he has ever been...I have no regrets...even if he had not returned I would have had no regrets because I needed to know I did all I could, tried all there was, and gave him all the time he needed to work it out inside...sometimes I thought I was done...but then something would hit me and tell me to step back...breath and let whatever was going to be...be...
IB...you are doing good...H is crazy...he may or maynot recover from this craziness but there is no way to look at his actions now and make that call...because believe me, I saw CRAZY and then some
So follow your plan...work on your structures...sometimes being vague in the wording can be to your benefit if you keep in mind how your H reads things...I got a lot past my H in our agreement because 1) He trusted me 2) He quickly read it as I stood there waiting for his signature 3) and I just felt that if I kept it worded in such a way that things didn't lood so black and white (when they actually were) I would get my agreement the way I wanted it...
I did not use to hurt H, I didn't do it get back at him...I did it purely to protect S and myself financially and emotionally as much as I could...a lot of things in the agreement I chose not to enforce because I didn't need to...if things had terminated between us permanently I may have used them if I needed to...but never to get back at him...I loved him...and I still do~!
