How has martyrdom been working out for you so far?
It sounds like you're so afraid of what life would be like without your W, you've accepted your role as her doormat.
Did you have a life before you M? You were strong and confident once, and managed to make it on your own. You had friends, hobbies and a life that didn't completely revolve around your W.
THAT's what attracted your W to you in the first place. Being a martyr and a doormat? Not so much.
Look, you're going to do whatever you're going to do, but if your choice is to be her doormat until she finally D's you and M's someone else, there's not much we can do to help you.
Nothing to see here, people. Wipe your feet on BTM on your way out.
I admit to being very afraid of life without my WAW. The best I can do is to try not to show that to her or say it to her or anyone who might tell her.
I really only had an "adult" life for a year before I met my WAW - but yes I was confident back then. I was really a cocky a$$hole, and yes, she was attracted to that it some ways. When we were away a month ago, she even made a comment to me that I don't have that anymore. And I know I don't - at least around her.
For 22 years, I made my life all about my WAW, our kids and our home. I have very few friends and I am completely apart from my family, other than the odd phone call or visit to my Mom. I know a huge part of my recovery is to GAL. I truly suck at it. Tonight after work, I am going for a beer with a friend, but even that is really of no interest to me. I am trying to force myself to do anything other than sit in my house.
If I was on a date with someone today and they said "what do you enjoy - what do you like to do in your spare time?" I would have really nothing to say. I can see how that would be unattractive to any woman - and even more so to my WAW.
