you've been doing this for a while, you can give yourself some credit too ;-)
- no one said this stuff would be easy, just that it would be worth it regardless if the divorce is busted or not.
And I just might be at it for a while longer...
This morning I realized that I have 7 months before my WAW apartment lease comes up for renewal - and 2 years before our agreed upon date to sell the house and proceed with divorce.
I am working on de-taching and letting her go, but I will never give up until the day the papers are signed. And even, I may not. If I can do this for 5 years, I can do for 7 - or more.
I am working on de-taching and letting her go, but I will never give up until the day the papers are signed. And even, I may not. If I can do this for 5 years, I can do for 7 - or more.
BTM,
Martyrdom is NOT healthy for you, and NOT attractive to your wife.
I am working on de-taching and letting her go, but I will never give up until the day the papers are signed. And even, I may not. If I can do this for 5 years, I can do for 7 - or more.
BTM,
Martyrdom is NOT healthy for you, and NOT attractive to your wife.
Please re-consider your strategy.
Puppy
Puppy - I can't afford any more mistakes. So, please clarify that for me. I was not intending to sound like or be a martyr. Just commenting here (and I wouldn't say to my WAW) that I refuse to give up. As for re-considering my strategy, I don't have a definitive one at this point - other than going back to the basics of dbing.
Hanging in there for the length of time that you're talking about is martyrdom, in my opinion. I'm trying to say that it will eat at your emotional and even your physical health, and will simultaneously not even look attractive to your wife (at some point, it starts to look pathetic).
Hanging in there for the length of time that you're talking about is martyrdom, in my opinion. I'm trying to say that it will eat at your emotional and even your physical health, and will simultaneously not even look attractive to your wife (at some point, it starts to look pathetic).
Clearer?
Puppy
Well...then martyrdom it is. Unless I meet someone else and care for that person more than my WAW and feel that is a better relationship for me, I won't give up our marriage. It's just not in me to do so.
In order for it to not look pathetic to my WAW, I will not make that declaration anywhere but here, and will GAL, but live every day with the goal and intention of saving my marriage. Right up until the day I meet my goal or I sign those papers.
When I said my vows, of "til death do us part" I meant it. Obviously, at some point I may not have a choice, but until then, I choose to continue. I still try to prepare myself for the worst, and if that is the end result, I will be able to live the rest of my life knowing I truly did everything I could to honor my vows.
You literally live to please your wife and get her back.
It sounds admirable but in reality, you have no life, that's why this is all you can do.
Join a team sport, play on a men's softball or soccer team and get used to "ME" time once or twice a week that doesn't involve thinking about the kids or your wife.
You need to get in the habit of really GAL'ing. Not just saying you'll get get a life.
Reclaim that individuality, get out of your comfort zone (playing xbox 360 with a headset at home is not GAL), get out with friends for a few drinks once per week, join the guys for a UFC pay per view and eventually some social interaction with some other women.
Get this straight, your wife is not afraid to lose you, she can't be afraid to lose you, SHE HAS YOU, SHE CAN HAVE YOU ANY TIME SHE WANTS and she knows this.
Do you know this?
You are afraid to lose your wife. YOU DON'T HAVE HER, YOU DON'T HAVE HER ANYTIME YOU WANT, you know this.
She can't chase you/pursue you if you're always there, she doesn't have those feelings for you because you are always pursuing her, she knows this, you say you act differently around her but I'm pretty sure she's extremely intuitive when it comes to you and knows you're just bluffing and putting on a show.
How has martyrdom been working out for you so far?
It sounds like you're so afraid of what life would be like without your W, you've accepted your role as her doormat.
Did you have a life before you M? You were strong and confident once, and managed to make it on your own. You had friends, hobbies and a life that didn't completely revolve around your W.
THAT's what attracted your W to you in the first place. Being a martyr and a doormat? Not so much.
Look, you're going to do whatever you're going to do, but if your choice is to be her doormat until she finally D's you and M's someone else, there's not much we can do to help you.
Nothing to see here, people. Wipe your feet on BTM on your way out.
