Once my Agreement is in place, I'll be more apt to use BITING REMARKS.
When my vacation is done, and she can't wreck my week, it's "Hunting Season"
Did I mention I'll be exposing to her favorite aunt this week? And calling their boss again with more detailed timeline. They lied to him, I'm sure. "We just started seeing each other cause we're separated" BS
I said "On my life. She is my everything, and you know that"
My W pulls this all the time. It's her control issue. She's convinced herself I can't parent properly (because it's different than her) and she's trying to get some leverage for our custody fight.
I just say, "I'm totally capable of taking care of our children." I don't need to defend myself nor explain.
I kind of look at these statements from our W's as a disrespect - I mean, do I need her to tell me to take care of my kids? I wouldn't even think of telling her that. lol
Last edited by steady; 07/23/1002:43 PM.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
You have to remember Cd that your wife has been practicing the phony image game for how many months now?
She's gotten quite good at appearances I am sure... This was just another performance.
And another thing she may be experiencing right now is shock. You likely earned a point of respect tonight. She likely wasn't expecting that of you... so you scored well on that end.
Proud? No... I think addicted is a better word to describe what you confronted tonight. You didn't address her CD you were talking to her addiction.
Addictions have a life and character all their own : arrogant, selfish, merciless, and shallow... That's what you faced down tonight.
The thing about addictions is that while they can have a powerful hold on their victim they are ignorant of how powerful reality can be... Addictions are completely closed off from and out of touch with the world around them.
You just have to rally that world together and bring it down on both of their heads with full force.
I always tell people, don't compare your insides to their outsides. People can definitely put on a great mask. Weren't you when you had the talk? All turmoil on the inside but a semblance of calmness on the outside.
I believe you did put a shock into her.
The addiction runs across a whole gamut of subjects. My W is addicted to the fantasy she thinks is her future; addicted to getting away from me; addicted to alcohol.
Allen is spot on with the addiction taking over a person. I have seen it so many times, and lived it myself. It's a program that runs and is not based in reality at all. That's why people have to hit a bottom in order to wake up. If they don't, the bottom becomes deeper and deeper and they lose more and more.
Life will keep feeding them opportunities to wake up, successively getting more and more painful until they lose everything - last stop is usual jail, dead, mental institution.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
But I was playing on her knowledge that I AM a great dad. One of the reasons she married me. I have DAD written all over me.
Yeah, but the problem is, it comes across as pursuing, as in "Hey, don't you still love me, aren't you going to regret leaving me, cuz I'M SUCH A GREAT DAD??!!!" -- kwim?
Allen's way doesn't even attempt to sell her on the fact that you're a great dad, CUZ SHE ALREADY KNOWS THIS ANYWAY!!
Sunny- I'm really looking forward to it. Being around my stable family and friends will be great for D. And me too
The sun; the lake; driving in the convertible. ("Scenery" will be good for Daddy)
Steady- I agree wholeheartedly regarding your excellent point about inside versus outside. As I thought about it, her parting shot about "just gonna leave, not talk about it" after my statement could just as easily be a bit of shock and suddenly feeling the need to defend herself; make herself feel better.
It's just time and exposure. The more time and exposure that goes on, the more pressure on the A and my W; the quicker she feels sees the fog lift from the sitch.
