Donna...I am enacting your advice. I am now going to call the kids every night. You are right. They are too young to be making those decisions. S9 still tells me that XW 'discourages' his desire to call me.

To Dday....what you did TOTALLY jives with Dr. Grey's advice re: saving a marriage and that phrase we have here 'hope for reconciliation'. Grey says that most dysfunctional marriages can't be rebuilt until they are completely destroyed and rebuilt from the bottom up. He states that this 'hope' is a form of denial. I think your divorce proves that. Most of the advice we get here is on this forum is totally off base with regards to tolerating infidelity and allowing spouse's to disappear for 4 days and then get greeted with a hot meal and lingerie when they return. Enabling behavior that is.

I pray that your NEW marriage lives long and prospers. Work hard to prevent those 'insidious changes' from returning. G-d bless.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;