Yes, I have. I have been unsure whether to do that because I've gotten advice both ways - to ask/not to ask - including from FT.
Well - that and the fact that I was sure I needed to snoop and "get proof". I was hell bent on that, mentally!
So, now that I'm not hellbent on the proof, I am visiting that possibility again. Now what stops me is the fact that we're going on this marriage retreat next weekend (30th) and I was told NOT to talk to H about R at all if I could help it (by weekend counselor). Therefore, I am not going to for now, I guess.
Having said that - I no longer care as much either, since I don't care about proof. I know his behavior and that's enough. Whether he is or is not having EA is no longer the point. His behavior is destructive to our M and to our family. Whatever the cause for it, it has to stop or he needs to get out. I'm giving this weekend retreat a chance and hopefully it will get us to the point of doing REAL work on R. If not, he is going to be asked to leave. S16 knows this. I have to now tell D18 when she returns Sunday night. S14 I will consider when I need to tell him, but definitely before I ask H to leave.
