I would be a little apprehensive about living in the same house with a 'roomate' status. Remember what it was like to live in the same house and her not wanting to work on the M. This has the potential to create that kind of situation again.
Personally, I wouldn't move in with my W unless she showed signs of being committed to working on the marriage, we had progressed our relationship to a point where it was working and we were being like a couple again, she would be sleeping in the same bed as me, I could see definite evidence in her that she has taken care of the issues she has that contributed to the deterioration of the original M.
How old are your kids? Are they at an age where living together in a roomate setup would confuse or hurt them?
The other thing I would want to know if I was going to reconcile with my W would be she is totally committed to going the distance. I don't want to put my kids through the same tension/moving out a second time.
What are you intentions in having her move back in? I know you say it's financial, with a hope of reconciliation. It seems you both need to be brutally honest about what you see happening with her in the house. Transparency in all areas creates the healthiest relationships. Especially in the emotional.
Why not, "W, I know we've been more affectionate these past few weeks than we have been in a long time. We ML for the first time in two years. We are talking about you moving back in the house. My mind is starting to move in a direction of possible reconciliation but I don't want to walk on eggshells, or even worse, get into trying to 'mind read' your intentions. I have learned being straight up and talking about it is the healthiest way for me to be so I want to ask you what your intentions are. Are you thinking about reconciliation or are you just moving back into the house with no desire to reconcile?"
Or something along those lines. If you won't move back in together if she isn't going to attempt reconciliation don't tell her that. It could affect her answer. Remember, they've lied before to get what they want. If she tells you she doesn't want to reconcile then tell her you don't feel comfortable living together....or whatever your boundaries are.
Her recent affection may possibly to soften you up to her desire to move back in rather than an attempt at moving in a reconciliation direction.
Personally, I would need a lot of questions answered and she would have to jump through a lot of hoops for me to even consider living together again.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
