On him admitting he is not happy, the thought has crossed my mind that he didn't want to hurt my feelings so is acting like it is not all perfect...
Hi back CW, ......even if the above was true (and we don't know for certain because we can't read their minds, right?)........that would certainly show a level of consideration for your feelings, which is much more than a lot of LBSers get from their WASs.
Do you still have animals at your house? It sounds as though animals may be another potential thread to link you to H.
Originally Posted By: courageous wife
I also remember a while back when H was acting so dang happy right after he filed D papers and I haven't seen that in him, at least, not consistently...
It sounds as though the universe is teaching your H some lessons. Stand back and let others teach him these lessons. That way he can't blame you for his unhappiness........I know that you know this and from what I know of your situation you have been doing a good job of this.
Here's an example from my situation of what can happen when we step back and let the universe teach. My XH has had a BMF for the past 30 years who is pretty narcissistic and has no moral compass. I really think that XH has been emotionally connected to this BMF because BMF has many traits that his alcoholic mother had. I think that BMF had a lot to do with encouraging XH to walk away from our M........Well, tonight XH told me that he and BMF have not been speaking for several weeks. (This is highly unusual for them. They were always thick as thieves.) I am hoping that this means that XH is finally able to see BMF for the person that he is.
Originally Posted By: courageous wife
How are things going with your H? Do you have a thread?
Thank you CW! You are very kind to ask. I had a thread last fall in Newcomers and probably need to move it over to MLC and begin posting again. I have been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster lately because of the recent unexpected positive movement in my sitch...........the quiet times with no communication that have occurred after our positive interactions have affected me more than I would like. ..........and I have been afraid to jinx things by posting........It's very strange to see, but after almost 2 years of DB'ing, I am beginning to see flashes of the H that I knew before. I think that we are moving into solid friendship territory. After kayaking together on July 4th weekend, his sister invited me to lunch last saturday. I served her brunch on the patio. XH visited with us briefly (it was really, really strange but the XH I saw then acted just like a high school boy.....I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes).....the next day he e-mailed me a chatty e-mail and ended it saying "We should play ping pong sometime" (ping pong is one of the thin threads between us).......Well, we played ping pong and spent almost 2 hours together this evening (we laughed and joked the whole time ---- almost like we were never apart)......Then as we were walking to our cars to leave, I told XH I was planning to see the movie Salt tomorrow after work and he said "Why don't I call you. Maybe we can go together". I said "Yes! I'd like that".
WOW! So in my situation, we are moving from a dynamic in which I always initiated, and XH held back.....to him initiating too. .........I don't know what is going to happen with us, but if I learn any nuggets as we move forward I will be sure to pass them on.
