I gave up...filed for D

[luvless]

alice! thank you for those much needed positive vibes.

yeah..dealing with my daughter is a handful on top of everything else. I watch her closely and keep communication open.

I have been doing pretty good. I am stressed financially and I hate to see emails from my former husband but other than that I'm doing ok. It's nice not to feel that awful pit in my stomach...what a relief.

I have to start thinking about what I'm going to do...find a job..go to school...I just don't know.

I am still around reading new posts and keeping up with other sitchs but seriously...this seems to be happening to so many people that divorce should be addressed as a crisis in this country.

Luv

[kara]

Hi Luv

We live in a disposable world of disposable clothes, music, toys, electronics, cell phones etc. If there is a problem with something, we toss it and buy a new one. We make some artificial person who can't act or sing into a superstar and 5 minutes later when we are bored it is On to The Next One. This is the Next society ...no wonder that attitude has translated into marriages and relationships. If its broke, don't fix it...get a new one.

Just my humble opinion.

[luvless]

Hi Luv We live in a disposable world...This is the Next society ...no wonder that attitude has translated into marriages and relationships. If its broke, don't fix it...get a new one.

Just my humble opinion.

and a VALID one at that!

[luvless]

Journaling...

I had a bad dream last night about the X. It's probably because he text my D last night telling her he was going to be gone for two weeks. The look on her face made me sad - she said, "dad is going away for two weeks and I don't know why he's texting me I never see him anyway." It really bothered me.

So...I have a dream that the OW tries to take my little girl from me (my daughter is 18 but in the dream she's around 5) and it was weird! I find myself doing fine and then he comes around (texts or what I describe as "bother us") and then I get down.

Well anyway I tried to have a good day and I did but I'm still having one of those days where I feel a little sad.

I'll be ok - can't complain because I've come very far from around March. I just wanted to log some thoughts.

Luv

[Gardener]

Luv,
Log away, kiddo. That's what we're all here for.
Interestingly, for the first time in months, I've suddenly started having dreams about X, my stepson and my stepdaughter every day this week.
Go figure. (just logging some thoughts )

[par4me]

Yes, the dreams are no fun. I just started that a few days ago. Reality in my dreams are not there. I hope you deal with them a little better than I do. It takes me a couple of hours after I wake up to get past them and realize that they are only dreams and mean very little.

[LSG]

Luv,

I feel for you so much. It feels terrible to feel that way. You have come a long way since March.

Have a great day!

[luvless]

Gardener, Par & LSG

Thank you for your thoughts. I've had some trying moments lately but I'm doing my damndest to stay positive..sometimes I conquer my anger and sadness and other times it takes over.

Today is a beautiful day in California and I hope to enjoy it with my kids.

Luv

[luvless]

Hey...I'm just gonna journal

I had a rough day. I have to say I'm over this sh*t...really. I think I'm doing fine and then bam - like getting punched in the stomach.

My S15 tells me - hey mom do you know dad said, "you know his friend" (gf) helped him pick out my cell phone?...in front of those people he lives with and it was so awkward!" I was livid...thinking what is wrong with this man does he have any sense? My older son says, "dad's a fag!" what are we supposed to do?

I see their frustration as he makes passive aggressive remarks to them and I know it hurts them dearly. They don't want to see him and I forced them to go see him this last time. Maybe I won't be forcing them again.

I feel bad enough knowing my former husband betrayed me...but the kids? I can't handle that part. There is no reason on earth he should be telling them about his whorefriend. They are not ready for that.

I don't wish this crap on my worst enemy.

Luv

[Gardener]

Sorry about your day, Luv. Really.

I see their frustration as he makes passive aggressive remarks to them and I know it hurts them dearly. They don't want to see him and I forced them to go see him this last time. Maybe I won't be forcing them again.

I agree. They're too old to be forced and old enough to have their decisions respected and validated. A son or daughter can only be "drawn to" a parent through love. It comes from within and cannot be forced from without.
But you already know that.

I don't wish this crap on my worst enemy.

Amen.
Hang in there, Luv.