Let her be the way she wants to be and not responding to the email was the right thing to do, nothing you could say in an email would make her feel better, she needs to vent, she's human (most of the time) let her vent.
As for the alcohol concerns, if she speaks to you, and you get emotional and angry in your response, all you do is validate that she is correct on the issue, remember we're dealing with perceptions of reality, she thinks she's right from her point of view, you think you're right from your point of view, if she brings it up, just say "your concerns are valid but I'm not going to Denver to drink and party, I'm going there to take a trip and break with the kids, to visit family and to relax. You are free to contact me regularly, to speak with the kids, etc. while we're there so that you feel more secure about the situation"
That's it, defuse the bomb without alot of work.
As for your agitation, you're human too, realize that you're going to get angry sometimes, realize also that it's your choice to stay angry or to deal with the emotion, the reason behind it and then to calm down and be normal again. Learn to control yourself.
