Hi Cozyp828, I am a LDW who would like to join in your discussion, I hope that is ok. I can see that I am much like your wife in many situations you have described, the upcoming wedding for instance. The thing is that I do love my husband and I would like to have a healthy sex life again, but do not know how to do it because his way doesn't work for me and my way doesn't work for him. YoungatHeart and SillyOldBear have both described situations where partners felt resentment and built up walls that prevent them from opening up to their spouse - this is true for me.
In a situation such as attending a social function, I too tend to be more touchy and affectionate than when in private and it is because it is safe - safe for me to try to explore my own feelings without the pressure to "go all the way". Basically it is my opportunity to try out a baby step, but, as it does with you, it leaves my H feeling frustrated. There is much more to my situation, but I don't know that this is the place to describe it.
I agree with others that it is not just about giving up sex, but more importantly about having some compassion for and working with your wife.
