I am 41, thanks for the words of encourgement. i haven't been giving any lessons lately because of my mind set. i have been playing, not because i want to but because it takes my mind off of it somewhat. She was not finacially good for me or really good for me at all. She was mentally ill. And I am not just saying that she was bipolar. Well, i should be happy that she is gone. But I am not. i enjoyed being around her most of the time. She would not work, clean, cook or do anything but set and smoke and talk on the phone. Noone that knows her thinks that i am losing anything, just me. So, it should be easy. It is just talking a toll on me. I do drink those ensure with high calories in them to help me but that is just about all I can force down. sorry to be such a cry baby. I am so tired of people asking me why i am losing so much weight and what is my problem, why am I so unhappy. If I tell them they usually say good you needed to get rid of her. She totalled 5 of my cars when i was married to her because of drugs. I have to pull myself out of this mess. Just when am i going to do it. she totally used me at the end. Acted like she wanted to work it out and had me buy her clothes when I dont think she ever planned on coming back, she was using me incase the om didn't work out, that she had a place to go. I just can't believe that she was that kind of a person. But she was.
