He did not say "yes". He said "I guess". How was I supposed to know when he says he guesses, he actually means yes? WTF??!!
Wow...the enthusiasm is underwhelming. What have we learned here? Mr. 6 months is a douche-tard and isn't deserving of your time or effort so now he can guess his ass to the back of the line! Ass-hat!
As for STBXH - thats a whole different kind of WOW!
First the OW thing, he needs his ass kicked for because that was just to stick the knife in a twist it a little because I think he KNEW you were serious this time.
Second the apologizing is not something you need to worry about. Maybe you should tell him that instead of telling you he is sorry, perhaps his time would be better spent showing his kids how sorry he is and being a better man. Its easy to say, not so easy to live. I also know because our Hs are similar creatures that he is sorrier for himself than anyone else...I'm sorry should be read as (I'm pretty sorry for being such a dick to you & the kids all these years. I'm more sorry that you left me because I was such a dick to you and the kids all these years, but mostly I'm really sorry because even though this is what I caused, its a lot harder to live than I want it to be so I'm sorry for me and the inconvenience I've been caused.) LOL..sorry.
Third the check thing was his conscience and it was a gift so accept it as that and don't over think it because of this:
Originally Posted By: GoingForward
he FOUGHT to get support lowered. Not once, but TWICE, and both times he succeeded. He claims that the boys and I take over half his income and he says he is about to lose the house because he can hardly afford it along with his personal bills.
his children are receiving much less than what they should be. I've had to cut way back to stay on budget...while he manages to go skydiving, rock climbing, buying big ticket items, about to buy a new car.
Do something fun and enjoy it...
I see you over in the alt and you look great and it sounds like things are going pretty well for you...I guess. (sorry, I couldn't help it!)
Hang in there!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
He's trying to ease his conscience. He said it... he feels ashamed of how he treated you and the kids.
Saw it a lot with my XH before the divorce.. it still comes out occassionally.
THe Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde syndrome... you know what I mean.
He's trying to apologize in his own wierd way (was receiving gifts one of his love languages or yours?)
I think you handled the texting beautifully.. and if it were me I'd be confused and feeling like my chain was being jerked for all the reasons you listed.
hugs & luv ya Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
I'm sorry should be read as (I'm pretty sorry for being such a dick to you & the kids all these years. I'm more sorry that you left me because I was such a dick to you and the kids all these years, but mostly I'm really sorry because even though this is what I caused, its a lot harder to live than I want it to be so I'm sorry for me and the inconvenience I've been caused.)
Very true, Corey. Good to hear from you again!
Originally Posted By: Bridgestone
He's trying to apologize in his own wierd way (was receiving gifts one of his love languages or yours?)
No, I think in the past, giving was a truce trigger for us. If he and I argued about something, he'd stop at the store before coming home and buy me a special treat...one he knew I couldn't resist, like my favorite ice cream for example. Other times, he'd give me extra money and tell me to buy whatever I wanted with it. His LLs were WOA and AOS.
So...I think I know why the apologies are coming again. He revealed in a text to me last night that the OP is out of the picture...yep, again. Said he ended it a while back. I think that makes it the 20th time or so over the last couple years. Geez.
That also explains the circus invite a couple weeks back (which I DID end up going to because I couldn't say no to my bubba {S5}) and the invite last week to go to the movies, which I respectfully declined.
I don't necessarily like being alone either, but damn, dude...give yourself TIME to HEAL.
(((Thanks, Corey and Bridge)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Been about a month since my last post here, but as some of you might know from my post over in the alt, XH has threatened to take me to court to seek full custody of S10 because S10 doesn't want to change schools.
I am very upset about this right now. S10 should not be involved in this, it should be kept between XH and me....BUT my mom told me XH called last night while I was at school (taking phlebotomy classes) wanting to speak with S10. S10 revealed to me that his father asked if I had spoken to him about going to the new school, he said I had, then XH asked if S10 was ok with that, to which he of course answered no.
So, I just received a text from XH about 10 mins ago, asking if he could have a copy of S10's last report card.....
I am guessing he wants it so that he can submit to his ATTY for his case. Question is .... do I give it to him?
I will tell you all right now....I DO NOT BELIEVE I SHOULD HELP HIM GATHER WHAT HE NEEDS. I FEEL HE SHOULD GO ABOUT GETTING IT HIMSELF.
But since I'm obviously emotional about this, how do I kindly tell him "F OFF, get it yourself!"...lol...in a nice way?
Thanks for listening.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
As has already been hashed out on your thread, keeping him in a school that is lower rated and further from your house just because his friends are there is not in his "best interests" IMHO.
That doesn't change the fact that going back to court will take time, cost money, and generally be a pain in the a$$.
But, he could just want the report card for other reasons. Maybe he's having a paternal moment? Well, I suppose it's possible....LOL
Seems to me you can just resort to the old standby of have your atty contact my atty. Even add a smiley face to be nice about it.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Ok so I told him I am not going to help him obtain any and all information he needs to build his case. He is perfectly able to gather what he needs himself.
His response - he will have the judge order me to surrender it then.
I also voiced my opinion that he should not be involving S10 in this matter, to which he responded "Don't tell me I can't talk to my son. This is what he wants. He wants to live with me so he can keep going to Fairmont (the old school)." He also said he is not involving S10 (hah!), yet unlike me where I have totally excluded him.
I have been completely painted as the "mean and bad" parent now. I am so STRESSSSSSSSED over this and I don't know WTF to do
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
You are not going along with what he wants, therefore you are wrong. Don't engage him on this. It'll just make it worse.
Take a deep breath.
Give it time.
You know how to play the detachment game. Don't put S10 in the middle, but talk to him about it if he wants/needs to.
Since it's not in your district, don't you have to sign an out of district application or something to keep him there? Just refuse to sign it if it comes to that.
But either way, just ignore what he's saying.
He's just looking for a reaction. He's trying to get his way. Don't engage him on this.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Yes - XH isn't in the Fairmont district (the school S10 wishes to remain in). I am in the BV district (the higher performing school), so I feel he should be going to BV.
To keep S10 at Fairmont, XH would have to sign and submit an intra-district agreement that both Fairmont and Callison (the district in which XH does live in) would have to agree and sign.
If he does that, wouldn't my signature be required as well? Before the school year ended, Fairmont sent me the form to sign to enroll S10 there for the 2010/2011 school year, but I did not sign it because I wanted to enroll S10 in BV.
(((Thanks, Michelle))) I am ignoring his texts now, but I can hear him calling S10's cellphone....ugh.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
