I've had a rough couple of hours. H tried to back out of the weekend deal. At first he tried saying, "It wasn't worth the money...that taking a cruise together that is fun would be better money spent." I replied I was sorry, it was a done deal, already registered and paid. Maybe afterwards we could take a cruise.
Reply to that? This weekend will not turn out like "I want it to" that he doesn't want to go, and that he will not want to take a cruise with me after this is done and it goes badly. People telling him how to act is going to further push him away and not reconnect. Oh, and that, he can't give me what I need... that I deserve better.
So then I ask does that mean he is unwilling? And that yes, I do deserve better. (Short reply - did not expound on it.)
His reply, simply, "I will go."
So, there you have it: he is going but reluctantly. The people are New Beginnings said it's fine - he doesn't have to be happy about going, just has to show up. (Told him that also and he said that's just a sales pitch.)
Anyway... I was so upset over this exchange that I started bawling in front of my 16 year old. Told him I was going to possibly ask his dad to leave, and why: I explained to him about H trolling FB and sending sexual text msgs to an old gf, of which I had proof. I explained that H refused to work on the M and I could not live like this any longer when his dad refused to get help. This was before the last msg from H saying he would go. S cried and we hugged each other. I told him his Dad loves him and I was sorry this was happening. I wanted him to understand though - if I had to ask H to leave, why. He said he is pissed.
Now I feel bad for having told S all of this. I just couldn't help it because at the time, I fully expected to have to ask H to leave tonight. 18 year old D is out of town until Sunday. I said nothing to 14S because once we got home, H had sent the reply that he would attend the weekend.
Apologized to 16S for having unloaded this on him prematurely. If he wants to go to counseling, I will take him. I then asked that he not say anything about the FB issue since H is now willing to go on the weekend. Geez...why couldn't I have kept my mouth shut? Of course, H may still back out...
