I think you are right. They know I love my W. The OM works at her work, so they know him too. I don't know how he acts around them. It will be interesting to see how he is after my divorce with her. He will change when he is served too.
If her workplace accepts OM as the boyfriend. They view you in a diminished light. What could reverse this rather quickly is if the guy started a physical altercation while you where being "cool". Of course you'd have to win that fight decisively. The dynamic would switch in a snap of fingers.
